First Draft of Personal Statement-- Your Thoughts?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
ox1778
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2011 10:32 pm

First Draft of Personal Statement-- Your Thoughts?

Postby ox1778 » Thu Dec 22, 2011 10:48 pm

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Last edited by ox1778 on Thu Mar 30, 2017 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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RareBreed
Posts: 46
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:48 pm

Re: First Draft of Personal Statement-- Your Thoughts?

Postby RareBreed » Fri Dec 23, 2011 4:58 am

Maybe it's because I can relate to it, but I really liked it. Where are you applying?

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10576
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: First Draft of Personal Statement-- Your Thoughts?

Postby CanadianWolf » Fri Dec 23, 2011 10:43 am

Interesting read. It is clear that you put substantial effort & thought into this writing. The ending hints at a touch of naivety as well as unrealistic expectations of law school, but overall this is an effective personal statement showing that you are searching for guidance. Nevertheless, while law school is not a cathedral & law is not a religion, it will serve you well to view judges as God & trials as Judgment Day.

ox1778
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2011 10:32 pm

Re: First Draft of Personal Statement-- Your Thoughts?

Postby ox1778 » Fri Dec 23, 2011 12:10 pm

Hey guys I really appreciate the input.

Canadian Wolf: I see what you mean with the last paragraph. I'm about to go back and revise it--a lot of the ending right now is just word vomit.

RareBreed: Thank, I put a lot of thought into it so I'm glad you liked it. My top choices are UVA, GULC, Duke, and Vanderbilt, but I'm applying just about everywhere.

Do you guys think it sounds authentic enough? Do you get a feel for who I am as a person?

Thanks for all your help!

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10576
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: First Draft of Personal Statement-- Your Thoughts?

Postby CanadianWolf » Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:12 pm

It seems sincere & genuine to me.




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