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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
spinsrap
Posts: 30
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:51 pm

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Postby spinsrap » Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:20 am

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Last edited by spinsrap on Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

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FryBreadPower
Posts: 908
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 9:46 pm

Re: Addendum help - is there something salveagable here?

Postby FryBreadPower » Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:27 am

Sorry for your loss, I have been and have known peers in a similar situations and I know how far reaching events like that can be.

That being said it may hurt you to try and use the event that occurred in 2001 to explain events that happened anywhere from 2 to 4 years after the event. I would tread lightly if I were you.

spinsrap
Posts: 30
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:51 pm

Re: Addendum help - is there something salveagable here?

Postby spinsrap » Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:34 am

FryBreadPower wrote:Sorry for your loss, I have been and known peers in a similar situations and I know how far reaching events like that can be.

That being said it may hurt you to try and use the event that occurred in 2001 to explain events that happened anywhere from 2 to 4 years after the event. I would tread lightly if I were you.


Thanks for the kind words, and no need to be! It was a end-of-struggles type of thing and just really caused me to do that ill-advised soul-searching torpedo.

Anyhow, I totally get what you're saying, but the alternative being what? No addendum? This is my problem is that the grades aren't indicative of what I'm capable of (WE and recs will back this), and I still am supposed to address this b/c it counts as required withdrawal.

I'm bamboozled!

Edit: Also, I feel like anything that really hurts me is hurting a 2.3 cumulative and I'm a ding already. Like maybe it's going to help 2 out of 5 times and they were going to ding me anyhow at the 3 others?

lsatwizkid
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2011 4:43 am

Re: Addendum help - is there something salveagable here?

Postby lsatwizkid » Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:37 am

Sad to hear about your mother. I think its a valid addendum, except that I want a few points clarified for my understanding. Pls ignore my not-so polite language and focus only on what I'm trying to get at-

You say this incident happened in 2001. And then next sentence continues with when you had seen your mother last. And next sentence again back to 2002-2003: I think there's a disconnect here. I, as a reader, would want to know this- if you didn't see your mother for so long (and this didn't affect your life as much), how does the incident suddenly change everything? If you remove the second sentence, the addendum is more realistic.

I know incidents like these are heart-wrenching and I completely believe you. This is a reasonable addendum. But-

"I don’t mind the GPA half as much as I do the fact that it represents a failure to take full advantage of all my time at a school I was fortunate to attend."

Why would you put this sentence? I don't see how saying this helps.

"I faced this mistake in the Spring of 2005, a month before my scheduled graduation date, when I approached the Undergraduate Dean to request a ninth semester. I was turned down and hastily choose to skip my exams (my coursework was otherwise completed) thereby accepting the seven failing grades, corresponding .7 GPA drop, and required withdrawal that would gain me that additional semester."

This might need an additional explanation? I think it'd be best if you approached the addendum this way-
-begin by date-wise concise and clear timeline of failing grades, skipping semester
-what caused that- emotionally unstable (this incident).

You could draft one and see how it looks. If you like the idea, PM me.

spinsrap
Posts: 30
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:51 pm

Re: Addendum help - is there something salveagable here?

Postby spinsrap » Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:52 am

lsatwizkid wrote:Sad to hear about your mother. I think its a valid addendum, except that I want a few points clarified for my understanding. Pls ignore my not-so polite language and focus only on what I'm trying to get at-

You say this incident happened in 2001. And then next sentence continues with when you had seen your mother last. And next sentence again back to 2002-2003: I think there's a disconnect here. I, as a reader, would want to know this- if you didn't see your mother for so long (and this didn't affect your life as much), how does the incident suddenly change everything? If you remove the second sentence, the addendum is more realistic.

I know incidents like these are heart-wrenching and I completely believe you. This is a reasonable addendum. But-

"I don’t mind the GPA half as much as I do the fact that it represents a failure to take full advantage of all my time at a school I was fortunate to attend."

Why would you put this sentence? I don't see how saying this helps.

"I faced this mistake in the Spring of 2005, a month before my scheduled graduation date, when I approached the Undergraduate Dean to request a ninth semester. I was turned down and hastily choose to skip my exams (my coursework was otherwise completed) thereby accepting the seven failing grades, corresponding .7 GPA drop, and required withdrawal that would gain me that additional semester."

This might need an additional explanation? I think it'd be best if you approached the addendum this way-
-begin by date-wise concise and clear timeline of failing grades, skipping semester
-what caused that- emotionally unstable (this incident).

You could draft one and see how it looks. If you like the idea, PM me.


Very helpful response. I'll work on this tomorrow, but just wanted to say thanks.




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