very very lost on what to write...

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thatshitcray
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very very lost on what to write...

Postby thatshitcray » Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:28 pm

I have a little bit written but I don't want to write more if this is already horrible...please criticize away

Doctor, lawyer, or engineer. If this wasn’t your answer, then don’t be surprised when all the uncles and aunts make that awkward face with mere disappointment. Teaching and art aren’t occupations, those are hobbies. You should aim for a JD or PhD so you can hang the certificate on your wall and look at it when you’re cooking three meals a day for your three kids, who you had to give up your job for in order to raise them, and husband who will be back from work anytime now, waiting for warm food to be served to him while I put the children to bed. Yes, that’s why I went to school for twenty five years, working on papers and projects, sacrificing sleep for finals, and retaining all this information in my brain only to show my future in laws and husband that I am capable of being intelligent and to be accepted into their family with open arms to raise children, cook, and clean. The first quarter of my life was just a test to see if I was qualified to find a rich husband and have the luxury of living a life filled with diapers and laundry. Should I even dare to go back to work, my life will be over. My husband will leave me and my reputation will be ravished in the Indian society. “She was prioritizing her work for her kids and husband” Sounds a bit old fashioned, doesn’t it? It may be, but to this day my family thinks just like this and expect me to go to law school become a lawyer and then retire to my household, motherhood duties.

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rinkrat19
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby rinkrat19 » Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:31 pm

That is one whiny, bitchy, stream-of-consciousness rant.

Adcomms are not going to read that and say "we should totes admit this chick."

Writing about breaking away from the expectations of your family and your culture could be a great topic, but this is incredibly negative, very off-putting, waaaayyyy too informal for a PS, and not very well-written, grammatically.

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Dany
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby Dany » Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:35 pm

You should scrap all of that and start over.

And while you're at it, make me a sandwich.
Last edited by Dany on Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Ludo!
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby Ludo! » Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:40 pm

The kernel of an idea is ok. Write about overcoming family expectations and all that. But your first few sentences don't even fit that theme. You seem to be saying you don't even want a JD. Like you'd rather be getting an art degree. That's not the kind of thing you should put in your PS. Keep the idea but start from scratch, be less rant-y and more positive

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seahawk32
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby seahawk32 » Wed Dec 07, 2011 11:57 am

Wtf did I just read

yankeedoodle
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby yankeedoodle » Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:44 pm

Ludovico Technique wrote:The kernel of an idea is ok. Write about overcoming family expectations and all that. But your first few sentences don't even fit that theme. You seem to be saying you don't even want a JD. Like you'd rather be getting an art degree. That's not the kind of thing you should put in your PS. Keep the idea but start from scratch, be less rant-y and more positive



agree completely

c3pO4
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby c3pO4 » Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:47 pm

um, where is my cheeseburger?

also, that is a terrible attempt at a PS. it'd be a good statement to convince someone nOT to accept you to law school.

these things shouldn't be too clever, just write either about a) why you really want to be a lawyer/go to law school or b) why you are awesome and will contribute to the community

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theadvancededit
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby theadvancededit » Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:46 pm

This sounds more like a HuffPo missive as to why you shouldn't apply.

Avoid the negative-nancy stuff, and focus on why you DO want to go to law school.

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Bildungsroman
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby Bildungsroman » Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:49 pm

What did I just read?

And how the hell have you already spent 25 years in school? That would be K - 12 plus an additional 12 years of school. Do you have 2 PhDs?

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PopTorts13
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby PopTorts13 » Wed Dec 07, 2011 9:03 pm

Please veer away from the glass-ceiling-esque approach and enlighten law schools with your positive traits and experiences that will help in contributing to the rigorous environment that is law school. A positive intro explaining the aforementioned will get you where you want to be. Best of luck
Last edited by PopTorts13 on Mon Dec 26, 2011 10:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Mr. Pancakes
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby Mr. Pancakes » Wed Dec 07, 2011 11:42 pm

Dany wrote:You should scrap all of that and start over.

And while you're at it, make me a sandwich.


LMFAO!

kublaikahn
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby kublaikahn » Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:16 am

Dany wrote:You should scrap all of that and start over.

And while you're at it, make me a sandwich.


Well played. Beat me to it.

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FryBreadPower
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby FryBreadPower » Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:00 am

Bildungsroman wrote:What did I just read?

And how the hell have you already spent 25 years in school? That would be K - 12 plus an additional 12 years of school. Do you have 2 PhDs?


I would also like to know the answer to said hypothetical.

postn0bills
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Re: very very lost on what to write...

Postby postn0bills » Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:37 pm

Being Indian myself, I understand where the anger comes from. However, it's important that in your personal statement you isolate the anger from influencing what you are writing. It's OK to express emotion about the topic, but try to approach the structure of the story very logically. You clearly faced adversity that upset you, how did you overcome it? How does it help show law school adcomms that you should be admitted?




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