PS Draft/Swap

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89vision

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PS Draft/Swap

Postby 89vision » Tue Nov 22, 2011 8:45 pm

Please be nice.

I'll read yours if you send it my way.
Last edited by 89vision on Tue Nov 22, 2011 9:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CanadianWolf

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Re: PS Draft/Swap

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Nov 22, 2011 8:49 pm

"I was left to wonder what happened to the vagabond...."


I think that you miss the point of your own essay.

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89vision

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Re: PS Draft/Swap

Postby 89vision » Tue Nov 22, 2011 9:19 pm

Would you mind clarifying?

My adviser said I needed to link the incident with why I wanted to attend law school, and how having a JD would have helped me help others. Is there a better way to do this, in your view? The older draft was more about experiencing an injustice, but it was disjointed.

Thanks!

CanadianWolf

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Re: PS Draft/Swap

Postby CanadianWolf » Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:25 pm

Referring to a human being as "the vagabond" is degrading and insensitive & conflicts with the goal of your PS to portray yourself as compassionate toward less fortunate individuals.



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