Looking for any criticisms on Personal Statement

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northerrn
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2011 7:58 am

Looking for any criticisms on Personal Statement

Postby northerrn » Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:03 pm

Revising
Last edited by northerrn on Fri Nov 18, 2011 4:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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msblaw89
Posts: 2669
Joined: Wed Sep 07, 2011 6:10 pm

Re: Looking for any criticisms on Personal Statement

Postby msblaw89 » Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:24 am

I really like your first two paragraphs, as far as syntax and flow, but I found myself wondering " okay...what does this have to do with why you want to go to law school?" Then, finally, in the last paragraph you reveal your motives, but it felt rushed. I don't think you dedicated enough time to why you wish to pursue law, and even more importantly, what you have gained from weightlifting that would contribute to your performance in law school. Overall, your main focus seems to be on describing powerlifting. Just IMO, I feel like this concept would be better served in a DS, but if you polish it up you can make this a very appealing PS.




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