specific grammar question list.

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juju96
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Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:20 pm

specific grammar question list.

Postby juju96 » Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:23 pm

Is this punctuated properly?

"This incident taught me two invaluable lessons: First, I realized my introductory courses in philosophy had somewhat less than sufficiently prepared me for disagreement with world-renowned philosophers. Secondly, and paramount, I was reminded that justice essentially guides the pursuit of a good life."

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ph14
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Re: specific grammar question list.

Postby ph14 » Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:24 pm

juju96 wrote:Is this punctuated properly?

"This incident taught me two invaluable lessons: fFirst, I realized my introductory courses in philosophy had somewhat less than sufficiently prepared me for disagreement with world-renowned philosophers.; sSecond,ly, and paramount, I was reminded that justice essentially guides the pursuit of a good life."

juju96
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Re: specific grammar question list.

Postby juju96 » Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:29 pm

thanks ph14 seems right.

any one else concur? about to submit just want to be sure

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ph14
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Re: specific grammar question list.

Postby ph14 » Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:31 pm

juju96 wrote:thanks ph14 seems right.

any one else concur? about to submit just want to be sure


Personally I would take out the first reason and focus on the second one, it's much more poignant.

juju96
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Re: specific grammar question list.

Postby juju96 » Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:32 pm

first was an attempt at a joke haha. not sure if it comes across that way

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ph14
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Re: specific grammar question list.

Postby ph14 » Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:32 pm

juju96 wrote:first was an attempt at a joke haha. not sure if it comes across that way


It's hard to tell in writing. I didn't read it that way. I wouldn't want to risk it with the adcomms.

Edit: If you did want to keep it a joke, flip them around. "first, it made me realize that justice is at the root of the good life; second, and more important, [joke]." I still would keep it out though.

juju96
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Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:20 pm

Re: specific grammar question list.

Postby juju96 » Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:38 pm

thanks for the input!

Renzo
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Re: specific grammar question list.

Postby Renzo » Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:14 pm

ph14 wrote:
juju96 wrote:thanks ph14 seems right.

any one else concur? about to submit just want to be sure


Personally I would take out the first reason and focus on the second one, it's much more poignant.


Nah, I'd keep it. Where you read poignant, I read melodrama. The humor of the first line helps temper the second.

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DocHawkeye
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Re: specific grammar question list.

Postby DocHawkeye » Tue Nov 15, 2011 1:39 pm

juju96 wrote:Is this punctuated properly?

"This incident taught me two invaluable lessons: First, I realized my introductory courses in philosophy had somewhat less than sufficiently prepared me for disagreement with world-renowned philosophers. Secondly, and paramount, I was reminded that justice essentially guides the pursuit of a good life."


Punctuation is the least of your problems.

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theadvancededit
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Re: specific grammar question list.

Postby theadvancededit » Tue Nov 15, 2011 3:41 pm

juju96 wrote:Is this punctuated properly?


No.
"This incident taught me two invaluable lessons. First, I realized my introductory courses in philosophy had somewhat less than sufficiently prepared me for disagreement with world-renowned philosophers. Secondly, and more paramount importantly, I was reminded that justice essentially guides the pursuit of a good life."


It would also be helpful if you give this a bit more context.




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