ps draft.

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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 2:53 pm

ps draft.

Postby laurgirl » Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:14 am

Looking for help with grammar, spelling etc. Also, I don't want to come off too cheesy or cliche, so if you have see any changes that can be made, feel free to speak up. However, if you are just going to tell me that this is horrible and there is no hope, don't bother because I don't really have another direction I can take, so I don't see myself starting over.

“Spy on the neighbours”- that was our favourite childhood game. Sometimes we would learn juicy but irrelevant gossip about individuals we had never met; other times we would overhear boring conversations about topics such as the weather. **However, on this particular day we witnessed something that has stayed with me ever since.(Do i really need this sentence)**. A few yards down from our “target (victim?)”, lying with our stomachs flat against the grass, we spread the bushes of a shrub and peered through at the commotion. We could hear a man yelling and swearing but we didn’t understand at whom because, other than his dog, he was alone. Just seconds later he resolved our confusion when he violently brought a heavy gardening shovel down across the back of his dog. We heard the crunch, the panicked yelp, and the whimpering submission that followed. Voice shaking, hands trembling, I managed to gather up the courage (from behind the bush of course) to scream the only coherent sentence I was able to come up with at the time: “You’re a horrible person so you’re going to jail”. Not my best argument.
My friend and I were utterly convinced if we told anyone we would be reprimanded for spying, so we never did. Overcome with feelings of guilt and helplessness, I decided to execute what I believed was the best alternative plan I could without finding myself in trouble. Since I knew the dog was almost always outside, tied to his intolerably short rope, I perceived this as an opportunity. Waiting patiently for my “signal”- an empty driveway- I began paying the dog routine visits. While initially I was wary that he would be vicious as a result of the abuse he had suffered, instead he was quite subdued, leading me to presume the abuse was not a onetime occurrence. Our meetings simply consisted of petting and hugging. Of course he didn’t comprehend what I was saying, but I used to tell him that he was a “very good dog”; I wanted him to understand that I was trying to help him in the best way I knew how.
While this would not be the only abuse-related incident I would witness or hear about in my life, this and similar situations have raised several law-based questions in my mind. Were there any punitive measures that could be taken against the people like this? Were there no preventative measures that could be implemented? Was any of this fair?
With regard to this situation, no, it was not fair. In the end the man got away with what he did and even to this day, I still feel guilt when I think back on it because potentially, I could have altered the situation. However, this incident did teach me a valuable lesson regarding the importance of standing up for those who perhaps do not have the means, proper knowledge, voice, or capabilities to do so themselves and consequently sparked an interest in criminal law.
In truth, I cannot say what the legal field entails or what it means to be a lawyer, but I am eager to find out.

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Joined: Sun Dec 19, 2010 6:17 am

Re: ps draft.

Postby theaether » Fri Nov 11, 2011 1:28 pm

I don't know if basing the PS entirely on a childhood experience is a good idea. I would try to flesh out the ramifications for your later adult life further than the quick explanation currently offered of: "this and similar situations have raised several law-based questions in my mind."

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