Leadership PS - What do you think?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
longhorns89
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:37 pm

Leadership PS - What do you think?

Postby longhorns89 » Sat Oct 29, 2011 5:06 pm

So I posted an earlier draft on here and got some good feedback on the content, mostly that it didn't seem like an important event. I put the story more in context now and I think it makes the stakes seem higher than before. But I want to make sure that the essay still has a cohesive story. Anyone have an opinion? Thanks!

DELETED
Last edited by longhorns89 on Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

longhorns89
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:37 pm

Re: Leadership PS - What do you think?

Postby longhorns89 » Sat Oct 29, 2011 5:21 pm

Also, if it's relevant, here are my numbers: 167 LSAT, 3.63 GPA. The numbers should get me into most places I'm applying around Texas. SMU is my second choice, but my first is UT and I'm pretty borderline there so I really need a good PS to make up for it.

User avatar
174
Posts: 183
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:03 am

Re: Leadership PS - What do you think?

Postby 174 » Sat Oct 29, 2011 5:41 pm

Doesn't tell the adcomm why you want to be a lawyer.

kaiser
Posts: 2940
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 11:34 pm

Re: Leadership PS - What do you think?

Postby kaiser » Sat Oct 29, 2011 5:43 pm

174 wrote:Doesn't tell the adcomm why you want to be a lawyer.


Doesn't have to

longhorns89
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:37 pm

Re: Leadership PS - What do you think?

Postby longhorns89 » Sat Oct 29, 2011 5:46 pm

Isn't that only one type of PS? My reasons for going to law school don't make a good essay, so instead I want to supplement my resume with an illustration of my leadership skills to show that I have the tools necessary to succeed in law school.

kaiser
Posts: 2940
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 11:34 pm

Re: Leadership PS - What do you think?

Postby kaiser » Sat Oct 29, 2011 9:03 pm

longhorns89 wrote:Isn't that only one type of PS? My reasons for going to law school don't make a good essay, so instead I want to supplement my resume with an illustration of my leadership skills to show that I have the tools necessary to succeed in law school.


Absolutely. Unless specifically prompted, you have free reign to share anything that can shine a light on you in some positive way for 2 minutes. I've read many great personal statements that have nothing to do with why the author wanted to go to law school.

longhorns89
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:37 pm

Re: Leadership PS - What do you think?

Postby longhorns89 » Sun Oct 30, 2011 1:16 pm

Thanks. That is reassuring. But what about this particular essay?

berkeleykel06
Posts: 292
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:39 am

Re: Leadership PS - What do you think?

Postby berkeleykel06 » Sun Oct 30, 2011 1:46 pm

I think the problem with this PS is that it is too detailed. Which leads to it being boring. Plus, I feel that adcomms are going to be skeptical of a fraternity story to begin with. I think the first two paragraphs should be drastically condensed, the third paragraph should be shortened a bit, and you should add in a 2nd leadership anecdote before going into the final paragraph. Two to-the-point, lively anecdotes are better than one anecdote dragged out to death, imo.

I didn't read your previous PS to know if I'm sending you back in the opposite direction, but I don't think that you need this extent of detail in order to make it seem like an important event.

longhorns89
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:37 pm

Re: Leadership PS - What do you think?

Postby longhorns89 » Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:49 pm

Yeah I felt the same way after my first draft so I shortened the actual anecdote and added the history of how we got the new house to show what was at stake. Between writing those two drafts, though, I actually wrote one with a second story but it just didn't work with the 2 page limit.

User avatar
FryBreadPower
Posts: 908
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 9:46 pm

Re: Leadership PS - What do you think?

Postby FryBreadPower » Mon Oct 31, 2011 1:52 am

kaiser wrote:
longhorns89 wrote:Isn't that only one type of PS? My reasons for going to law school don't make a good essay, so instead I want to supplement my resume with an illustration of my leadership skills to show that I have the tools necessary to succeed in law school.


Absolutely. Unless specifically prompted, you have free reign to share anything that can shine a light on you in some positive way for 2 minutes. I've read many great personal statements that have nothing to do with why the author wanted to go to law school.



To be fair, isn't the ideal situation to effectively construe both? I have heard Adcomms say that they begin to grow tired of PS that show no easy to follow line of logic as to why you want to be a lawyer in the first place. Although if you feel you do not have a strong enough answer then it definitely wouldn't be in your best interest to divulge it.

OP, it sounds like (from other comments on this thread) that you and I may have similar "leadership-themed" PS. I am working on the final draft of mine and would be down to do a swap if you needed the extra pair of eyes. I know that I could certainly use some.




Return to “Law School Personal Statements”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.