I just performed on the world stage—in front of the black curtain backdrop, I saw the
“Winter Guard International Championship Finals” banner
written in white, that I had seen on past competition DVDs.
Or some thing along those lines
Reminded –me- how of far I had come
from the crowd,
and in awe
-a/the- marching band or is this a title?
through -the- mall
now to ineligible -delete "to"
It was only with those lessons that I was able to graduate from XXXXXXXXXXXX. The past
experiences there dared
inspired me to challenge myself and graduate early
delete the purple words
perseverance in the
face of challenging – I also used the phrase “in the face of” in my rough draft but deleted it because im not sure how schools across the country will respond to idioms. I would work on this sentence
I have gained a
I like your essay, it is applicable, and answers why you want to go to law school. You have a great ending too.
If you could edit my PS I would appreciate itviewtopic.php?f=18&t=168747