Resume Critique Needed

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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boilermaker11
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:01 pm

Resume Critique Needed

Postby boilermaker11 » Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:45 pm

Formatting is off on here when i pasted it but the city and state and years are right aligned.
Thanks in advance for any feedback! :D



My Name Here Street Address Here City, STATE 99999
(555) 555-5555 my.name@gmail.com

Education

BIG TEN UNIVERSITY CITY, STATE
Bachelor of Science in Business Management May 2011
• Certificate of Entrepreneurship and Innovation
• GPA: 3.06 /4.00
• Semester Honors 2010-2011

Work Experience

SMALL INSURANCE AGENCY City, STATE Customer Service Representative Intern Summer 2010
Assisted with the development of the new CSR position and identified creative ways to enhance customer quality in the future.
Ensured a quality experience with customer relations primarily in collecting production reports. Sharpened oral communication skills and the ability to convey information concisely

CVS PHARMACY City, STATE
Technician Intern Summer 2008
Honed multitasking and customer service skills in a fast-paced environment. Prepared prescriptions and aimed to form relationships with customers. Managed inventory and entered new prescriptions into the computer system

SMALL INSURANCE AGENGY City, STATE Temporary Administrative Assistant Summer 2007
Analyzed insurance data by utilizing Microsoft Excel. Organized and executed mass mailings to customers. Exceeded expectations by re-organizing a storage room which went untouched for 5 years

Leadership Experience

College Mentors for Kids 2010-2011
Mentor
Cultivated an ongoing one-on-one relationship between college and elementary aged students. Increased a child's awareness and interest in higher education, and created a service-learning environment. Planned activities related to economics, higher education, and community service for the children

Association of Leaders 2010-2011
Treasurer
Coordinated fundraising promotions and concepts that increased organization funds from $120.00 to over $1,000.00. Initiated a plan to find food and beverage donations to cut cost for future events. Revamped member recruiting concepts that tripled active member applications.

Association of Leaders 2009-2010
Event Coordinator for Golf Outing
Led a group effort to find corporate sponsors for the event. Provided creative ideas to increase marketing concepts that advertised the outing. Made connections and with various corporations and expanded my network while attending the event.

Alpha Chi Omega 2008-2009
Assistant Vice-President Fraternity Relations
Revamped communication channels to committee members by implementing the use of more efficient networking tools. Contributed creative ideas to increase marketing concepts that promoted special events and activities. Assisted in event planning and fundraising of various events.

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thelawschoolproject
Posts: 1364
Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:58 am

Re: Resume Critique Needed

Postby thelawschoolproject » Thu Oct 20, 2011 10:14 pm

Is there a way for you to list more specifics? So, instead of "planned activities related to economics, etc." How many did you plan? Per week? How many children? Instead of "led a group to find corporate sponsors" how many did you find? How much money did you raise? You list a lot of generals. I'd be as specific as possible. Also, do you have any awards/honors? Volunteer work? Publications/Conferences?

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boilermaker11
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:01 pm

Re: Resume Critique Needed

Postby boilermaker11 » Thu Oct 20, 2011 10:26 pm

No awards other than semester honors and most improved GPA in my sorority (Haha). I always participated in my sorority's philanthropy but other than that it was mostly a lot of random volunteer projects.
I attended a Greek Leadership Conference. My University acted like it was a big deal but idk if it's resume worthy?

Thanks for the help. I can see now it looks like a very general resume. Needs more personalization. So much for those resume workshops in college.

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whenwin
Posts: 98
Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2011 12:38 am

Re: Resume Critique Needed

Postby whenwin » Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:16 pm

I like the formatting for the most part. I prefer bullet points to paragraph form, but to each his/her own. Try to sell yourself more -- don't lie, but you do want to show your jobs/experiences in as good a light as possible.

Any languages or other skills?

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boilermaker11
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:01 pm

Re: Resume Critique Needed

Postby boilermaker11 » Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:24 pm

I know I need to sell myself more. Its so hard for me to put it on paper.
I would love to be more fluent in spanish but I haven't taken a class since high school.
I am looking into volunteer opportunities as I have no job right now.

For Personal:
Im an avid runner, currently training for a mini marathon (seems so average joe and nothing to boast about)
I have shown horses for 10 years (this is what my PS is about so IDK if I should include this point)
I have traveled through Europe (not extensively though)

User avatar
whenwin
Posts: 98
Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2011 12:38 am

Re: Resume Critique Needed

Postby whenwin » Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:54 pm

Yeah, selling yourself is hard. Maybe consider trying an exercise that I did when helping my friend with her resume? She found it useful. We went through her jobs one by one. I asked her to tell me everything that she did, and in doing so, to 1) impress me and 2) make it sound interesting to me, as a person who knew nothing about any of her jobs. As she was telling me about her jobs, at first she only listed the things on her resume, but she slowly started remembering other cool things she had done. By the end of it, she had been able to articulate some of the best things she had done, and she found that she actually did have some good content for her resume. If it sounds like it could work for you, maybe grab a friend and ask them to listen to you for a while?

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boilermaker11
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:01 pm

Re: Resume Critique Needed

Postby boilermaker11 » Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:30 am

Wow I will definitely try this, thanks!!! This is a great idea :D




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