Personal Statement Draft: Opinions Please

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
rishabhagny
Posts: 50
Joined: Tue May 03, 2011 12:03 am

Personal Statement Draft: Opinions Please

Postby rishabhagny » Mon Oct 17, 2011 7:27 pm

Deleted; re-wrote it!
Last edited by rishabhagny on Fri Oct 21, 2011 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Personal Statement Draft: Opinions Please

Postby CanadianWolf » Mon Oct 17, 2011 7:32 pm

The expression is "deep-seated", not "deep-seeded". ("Deep-rooted" is also acceptable.)

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Personal Statement Draft: Opinions Please

Postby CanadianWolf » Mon Oct 17, 2011 7:40 pm

You lose credibility when writing that "...the distaste for my own name was the most substantial challenge I would ever face." & "No other challenge can rival that of severe distaste for one's name." These declarations are pure garbage. Otherwise, you are a capable writer with an interesting theme.

rishabhagny
Posts: 50
Joined: Tue May 03, 2011 12:03 am

Re: Personal Statement Draft: Opinions Please

Postby rishabhagny » Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:00 pm

Thank you very much for your inputs; much appreciated!

Do you have any suggestions on a steps to take from here? I did not know how this PS ranks amongst others and/or how it would be perceived. I also had concerns on how much more I should write, what I had written is nearly two pages double spaced.

CaliforniaGurl
Posts: 145
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:03 pm

Re: Personal Statement Draft: Opinions Please

Postby CaliforniaGurl » Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:26 pm

Sorry, but I disagree with Canadian Wolf. My intention is not to be mean here, but your PS does not make you seem like a likable, worldly person, but rather an insular person with huge insecurities. Thousands of people will be applying to law schools from different parts of the world, and their names have constantly been butchered. I myself has had it done to me several times and still do from time to time. Definitely reconsider the topic or at least a shift in balance in the topic as at this point, it's about 80% fear and humiliation and 20%, what you would consider a significant achievement.

rishabhagny
Posts: 50
Joined: Tue May 03, 2011 12:03 am

Re: Personal Statement Draft: Opinions Please

Postby rishabhagny » Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:32 pm

Thank you for your input. I definitely see where you are coming from.

Spiegwrite
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2011 4:49 pm

Re: Personal Statement Draft: Opinions Please

Postby Spiegwrite » Fri Oct 21, 2011 5:22 am

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