PS idea......critiques would be appreciated

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
camwon
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:48 pm

PS idea......critiques would be appreciated

Postby camwon » Wed Oct 12, 2011 1:23 am

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Last edited by camwon on Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LawSchoolGuru
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Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2011 11:56 am

Re: PS idea......critiques would be appreciated

Postby LawSchoolGuru » Wed Oct 12, 2011 1:41 am

camwon wrote:so my essay would explain all of this. id imagine that the last paragraph would be something along the lines of:
"i want to go to law school because i have wanted to become a lawyer since the 5th grade, when i wrote my elementary school principle an angry email about my gym teacher's unfair discipline policies. however, if i don't get into the law school of my choice, or if i dont get into any law schools, i won't be upset. i really can't be, since the application process most likely saved my life."
also might start the essay with that paragraph, maybe expand the gym teacher story, make it funny, then transition into my story. or maybe spend around half the essay talking about why i want to go, then tell my little sob story that ends in self actualization. or just go back to the writing board.
i wouldn't normally post my deepest personal demons on a law school related message board, but you guys are really the best people to tell me if its a decent idea or not. and with a 162, i'm really hoping for a grand slam PS to get me into hastings. thanks for your time!


sorry to hear about your troubles man. as to any advice i can give you... DO NOT use the story about 5th grade. everything on TLS always repeats that your personal statement should be generally about how you changed during/after undergraduate. so scratch that out of your ideas for sure because they have heard it many times before. as for the passings of your sister and your roommate, you could use this to show how you have changed as a person. in truth, it had a significant negative impact on your life and college which should be explained either here or in an addendum. i definitely think you can write a compelling personal statement about how you have changed since then, if you have attended an AA meetings, and how you are changing your life in general. if you just finished a handle last night, I don't see you changing your path soon. you really need to think this through man. the future is yours, alcohol is just keeping you in the past.

06162014123
Posts: 213
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 8:40 pm

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Postby 06162014123 » Wed Oct 12, 2011 1:48 am

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Last edited by 06162014123 on Sun Jun 08, 2014 11:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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theadvancededit
Posts: 315
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:31 pm

Re: PS idea......critiques would be appreciated

Postby theadvancededit » Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:35 am

If you're having these revelations now-- and I'm very glad you are-- perhaps you may want to consider taking another year off. It's great that you're considering all these major issues and making use of them positively by writing about them in your PS, but I think you should concentrate more on those strides to better yourself. Treatment takes time and these are all things that may not be 'resolved' (for true alcoholism isn't ever cured, it involves lifetime care and maintenance) by the end of this cycle. This will be a concern for the adcomm, yes, and may be a problem for them. However, given your circumstances, the question really is whether law school is a viable option for you, at this particular time. Law school is very difficult and may not be the best environment for you just yet. If you're just at the beginning stages of recovery, you don't want to throw yourself into an environment riddled with triggers.

If this is tl;dr: Continue to seek help, but I'd reconsider applying for this cycle if not only for the practical ramifications (adcomms may be too concerned with your instability) but also for your own health and recovery.

kublaikahn
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Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2011 12:47 am

Re: PS idea......critiques would be appreciated

Postby kublaikahn » Wed Oct 12, 2011 2:10 pm

Personally, I wouldn't go near law school. It will be here for you in a year or two. Get well.

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amc987
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Re: PS idea......critiques would be appreciated

Postby amc987 » Wed Oct 12, 2011 2:24 pm

I am sorry to hear about your struggles. I agree with what's been posted above. Getting well is probably most important at this point, for the sake of your personal well-being and for your admissions chances. It's hard to write about something like alcoholism in your PS and be able to explain how it has changed/ why it won't negatively affect you as a law school student if you haven't had some kind of treatment yet.

I think that no matter what you end up doing, you shouldn't concentrate your PS on something that happened in the 5th grade and you shouldn't write a PS that's an extended addendum. I think it's fine to give adcomms a sense of something that happened to you in your youth that shaped who you are now, but the 5th grade you isn't going to law school. I think they'll find your PS more interesting and compelling if you talk about how whatever events in your past have shaped how you view yourself and how you relate to others. Writing it as an extended addendum won't showcase how you've grown--it'll probably read like a long list of things that have gone wrong in your life. While that's will inspire people to have sympathy for you, it probably won't convince them to admit you to their school. You don't want to leave admissions officers with the impression that the only way you define yourself is by having to explain and repent for all the things that haven't turned out the way you planned. IMO it's akin to meeting someone, and instead of introducing yourself, spending your time profusely apologizing for something. People want to know about the positive attributes you bring to the table even if they're colored by having endured difficult obstacles. Just my two cents.

Good luck with your treatment and whatever you end up deciding!

camwon
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:48 pm

Re: PS idea......critiques would be appreciated

Postby camwon » Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:29 pm

thanks everyone for confirming a fact that many people would dispute: that decent people do in fact post replies to questions on TLS. :)

camwon
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:48 pm

Re: PS idea......critiques would be appreciated

Postby camwon » Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:30 pm

and whatever i decide... FINE! i wont use the elementary school story.




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