Please critique my PS high lsat/low gpa splitter

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
jumister5889
Posts: 53
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:14 pm

Please critique my PS high lsat/low gpa splitter

Postby jumister5889 » Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:14 pm

delete
Last edited by jumister5889 on Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

caminante
Posts: 208
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:59 pm

Re: Please critique my PS high lsat/low gpa splitter

Postby caminante » Tue Oct 04, 2011 12:46 pm

This looks like a well done PS.

Some general thoughts:

Try to spend more time on your older years and less time on your younger years. It seems the basis of this piece is maturing and a bit too much time is spent on your immature thinking while less time is spent on your matured ways. For example, it's not necessary to describe your punishment when you were 9 years old in such great detail. There was already enough imagery in that part of the essay to make it very memorable.

Second, it is not recommended to include a "And so, ___ Law School will be the best place for me" type of conclusion unless you specifically site what about your personal statement makes that law school so perfect for you. Simply stating that it is seems forced. If you really want to target Georgetown, mention one of their programs that fit into your new matured thought process, or your interest in your Chinese ancestry, etc etc etc.

Regardless, this is one of the better statements I've read on this thread. I like that I learn an interesting fact about your ancestry, I like that you show me how you've pursued your interests, I like that you resist listing off all the details of your accomplishments. You're on the right track, IMO.




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