maybe wont do a DS

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nucky thompson
Posts: 290
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 6:32 pm

maybe wont do a DS

Postby nucky thompson » Thu Sep 15, 2011 6:28 pm

revising
Last edited by nucky thompson on Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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thelawschoolproject
Posts: 1364
Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:58 am

Re: Please comment/critique my DS statement

Postby thelawschoolproject » Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:00 pm

I think you have a good story to tell here, but I also get the sense that maybe it needs to be a little bit more fleshed out. Some questions I have are why your family didn't think you had the mental aptitude to succeed? Was this another obstacle that you had to overcome? Also, I'm a bit concerned about your use of the phrase "self-fulfilling prophecy" it seems like you use two definitions of the phrase, which puts it in a space of ambiguity. Also, because at the end of your statement you once again refer to the trucking/construction industries, I'm wondering if you might want to explain what you learned from this a bit more? Also, before receiving the scholarship I'm interested in what prompted you to apply for school and the scholarship. There's obviously some disconnect between you just settling for the life of your parents and you wanting an education, I'd explain what prompted your motivation.

All in all, you have a unique perspective to offer, but you need more information/details/observations/explanation to make your statement more effective.

Best of luck!

MumofCad
Posts: 974
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:46 pm

Re: Please comment/critique my DS statement

Postby MumofCad » Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:04 pm

Well, since I've read your PS too, there is a problem here with serious overlap. This is almost the same essay, but told in a slightly different way. If you are going to cover this in your PS, you can't write a DS about it as well. The adcoms will not look pleasantly on reading the same info twice. You could very well use this theme for a DS, but you'll need a new topic for your PS then.

nucky thompson
Posts: 290
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 6:32 pm

Re: Please comment/critique my DS statement

Postby nucky thompson » Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:22 pm

haha - I was not going to write a DS until my pre-law adviser said to do so... I told him my PS included first-gen, but he insisted.

MumofCad
Posts: 974
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:46 pm

Re: Please comment/critique my DS statement

Postby MumofCad » Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:43 pm

nucky thompson wrote:haha - I was not going to write a DS until my pre-law adviser said to do so... I told him my PS included first-gen, but he insisted.


Well I wouldn't want to step on a pre-law adviser's toes. They know more than me, but did he make those comments after reading your PS? I would be surprised if he read both and didn't revise his advice. I think you could write both, but you'd need to change your PS around and significantly shorten the intro and discussing the same scholarship program to get into college, won't work so....yeah, you'd really need to brainstorm.




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