Please critique disclosure addendum Forum

[nucky thompson]

I will be deleting this after I get some advice, Please do not quote.

I list/detail the incidents in a purely factual way (a little remorseful in tone, mostly dry), then conclude with this

While I am contrite for all of my past indiscretions, I am most ashamed and regretful of the latest event. Over the course of undergraduate studies I matured greatly, but this incident did not reflect such progression. It was a momentary lapse in judgment that I could not take back. The event prompted me to take stock of my life. I stopped drinking alcohol indefinitely and re-dedicated myself to achieving my personal and academic goals. I have learned from my past mistakes and am confident there will be no issues moving forward.

[MrAnon]

Everyone drinks and does stupid stuff. Unless you were accused of rape or manslaughter from one of these incidents I wouldnt even mention them. There is a tendency to overdramatize in these statements when 99% of them are not necessary in the first place.

[nucky thompson]

I am required to disclose - I am not making a huge deal of it, but i would like to alleviate any concerns adcomms may have about my future behavior. Is this conclusion satisfactory?

[barneytrouble]

I am required to disclose - I am not making a huge deal of it, but i would like to alleviate any concerns adcomms may have about my future behavior. Is this conclusion satisfactory?

The prose is a little on the purple side. You can find much more straightforward ones throughout the site.

[freestallion]

I will be deleting this after I get some advice, Please do not quote.

I list/detail the incidents in a purely factual way (a little remorseful in tone, mostly dry), then conclude with thisI regret my actions and have learned from my mistakes. I am confident that there will be no further issues moving forward.

[sach1282]

I will be deleting this after I get some advice, Please do not quote.

I list/detail the incidents in a purely factual way (a little remorseful in tone, mostly dry), then conclude with thisI regret my actions and have learned from my mistakes. I am confident that there will be no further issues moving forward.

This is better.

[theadvancededit]

While I am contrite for all of my past indiscretions, I am most ashamed and regretful of the latest event. Over the course of undergraduate studies I matured greatly, but this incident did not reflect such progression. It was a momentary lapse in judgment that I could not take back. The event prompted me to take stock of my life. I stopped drinking alcohol indefinitely and re-dedicated myself to achieving my personal and academic goals.

While it's totally understandable why you'd want to appear remorseful, making even borderline-emotional pleas may seem trite.
Sach is totally right.

[dani_burhop]

These types of addenda can do more than explain and show remorse - they can demonstrate growth. For example, I worked with an applicant with a DUI who committed fully to AA and helped counsel others. So, if you have done anything specific to make up for your past transgressions, mention them. But keep the overall disclosure short.