Quick easy help

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MRsimon

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Posts: 35
Joined: Tue Sep 14, 2010 12:03 am

Quick easy help

Postby MRsimon » Sun Sep 11, 2011 1:31 am

First of all, I'm barely awake... not sure if that's an excuse. What I'm posting is not a complete thought. It's just something I hammered out at 1 in the morning. I would like to know if any of you think there is anything here. If expanded, could this turn into something more? I know its not long. Just an idea.

Edit.

Thanks, I'm going to get to work and see what happens
Last edited by MRsimon on Sun Sep 11, 2011 7:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

alleg2010

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Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2011 11:27 pm

Re: Quick easy help

Postby alleg2010 » Sun Sep 11, 2011 4:32 am

I think it could be interesting as an attention-grabber that leads into something more substantive.

I actually read through yours to the very end, which I've found that I don't normally do for most of the essays that get posted on here... Usually, I just get bored after a sentence or two, given that such a huge chunk of them are some variation on the same 3 or 4 themes (and you can usually tell this after reading only a few sentences).

The whole "sometimes you learn more by picking up pennies" thing kind of reminds me of Dan Eldon and "The Journey is the Destination," which I think could make for an interesting theme if you played it well as you built the body or your statement.

But I definitely think you could shorten it and punch it up by doing some editing.



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