Yale 250 Draft

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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AntipodeanPhil
Posts: 1300
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2011 7:02 pm

Yale 250 Draft

Postby AntipodeanPhil » Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:23 am

Deleted. Thanks for the comments!
Last edited by AntipodeanPhil on Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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MrPapagiorgio
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Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2010 2:36 am

Re: Yale 250 Draft

Postby MrPapagiorgio » Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:39 am

Besides a few grammatical errors ("bought" should be "brought"), I don't think that it says very much about you. I know more about your student than I do about you. I understand what you are trying to imply (learned from your mistakes to become a better mentor to other students), but I just don't think this works. Plus, this doesn't make me want to know more about you, nor is it interesting.

Don't mean to be harsh, but I won't blow smoke up your ass and tell you how great it is. I would scrap the entire thing. You have enough in your personal statement to talk about you. Make the Y250 something fun and interesting to read.

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AntipodeanPhil
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Re: Yale 250 Draft

Postby AntipodeanPhil » Fri Sep 09, 2011 1:38 am

Thanks - you've confirmed my suspicion that this is boring and would amount to a wasted opportunity. But writing something interesting in 250 words is a real struggle - at least if you're me!

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kulshan
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Re: Yale 250 Draft

Postby kulshan » Fri Sep 09, 2011 8:52 pm

LOL. All I have to say is that, as a fellow TA, I feel your pain. But still, you can probably do better.

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kulshan
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Re: Yale 250 Draft

Postby kulshan » Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:00 pm

To avoid starting a new thread...

Anyone want to read 2 250 drafts? I have two written on different topics. I'd be happy to read yours in return.

TheFriendlyBarber
Posts: 258
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 2:13 am

Re: Yale 250 Draft

Postby TheFriendlyBarber » Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:10 pm

Please, please dump that flaming turd of a 250 and start over.




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