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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
OhioRider22
Posts: 76
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 9:18 pm

deleted for editing

Postby OhioRider22 » Thu Sep 01, 2011 9:54 pm

deleted
Last edited by OhioRider22 on Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:26 am, edited 2 times in total.

4910
Posts: 142
Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 8:42 pm

Re: Critique my PS: drugs, arrests, all that.

Postby 4910 » Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:37 pm

you are going for the "i was this back then now i am better" PS. you spend way too much time talking about your negative past and not enough about your better situation. your proof of you better situation now is listing your resume basically. you need to take out some parts about your past and put in more about your present and future goals and somehow tie it into why you want to go to law school. it is risky enough talking about your drugs and arrests, that sort of stuff should usually be put into addenda and not highlighted in a PS where it is all about your positive factors.

OhioRider22
Posts: 76
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 9:18 pm

Re: Critique my PS: drugs, arrests, all that.

Postby OhioRider22 » Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:45 pm

Definitely some good points, thank you, I appreciate it. Like I said, I'd rather not have to write about any of this at all, but I feel like I need to address it somewhere. Maybe an addenda is my best bet. Also, you're right on about talking too much about the negative past, and not enough about the future. There are some definite reasons I want to practice law, and I should probably specifically include those. This rough draft was getting rather lengthy, and I kind of just cut it off. Thanks a lot for your feedback.

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Jack Smirks
Posts: 1340
Joined: Sat May 15, 2010 5:35 am

Re: deleted for editing

Postby Jack Smirks » Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:32 am

This is a good story but it's poorly written. PM it to me or repost it in the actual paragraph form and I'll try to edit it for you.

OhioRider22
Posts: 76
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 9:18 pm

Re: deleted for editing

Postby OhioRider22 » Fri Sep 02, 2011 2:30 am

Will do. Thanks.




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