(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
6 posts • Page 1 of 1
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I don't think this is too political. But is your PS about beans?
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JamMasterJ wrote:I don't think this is too political. But is your PS about beans?
Haha, no, just a little segment about interest in pro bono and why.
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chem wrote:Its probably a silly worry, but I also know that anything you put your name on can be dug up. I just want to know if it would be a bad idea to have this segment in a why x or a PS
"In addition, University of Illinois has a commitment to public service through pro bono externships and summer funding. Most people who are familiar with biotechnology are familiar with Monsanto, who has a stranglehold on soybean seed sales. Farmers whose fields have been cross pollinated with Monsanto soybeans in adjacent plots are prosecuted, and lose their land. Though I agree that Monsanto has a right to those patents, I want to stand up for these individuals, and having pro bono opportunities in law school will allow me to help find a solution."
Perhap too politically charged. To me it comes off as unnecessary, you dont need to mention the company by name or even mention the situation. Just say you want to help farmers with the difficulties of patents/whatever (obviously make it more specific).
Plus what if one of the addcomm people has connections to Monsanto, they're everywhere you know, trying to stea--Monsanto uses sound and innovative science and thoughtful and effective stewardship to deliver high-quality products that are beneficial to our customers and to the environment.
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I think this isn't a bad idea in your Why X, but it is kind of lazy. It makes it seem as though you haven't actually done any research. You'd be better served by getting more specific. Does UIUC have any special relationship with nonprofits that would deal with issues like this? Do you know of other UIUC students that have done this? Can you think of even hypothetical instances that connect their pro bono funding externships and summer funding with this issue (e.g. "Illinois is home to numerous nonprofits that seek to fight this unjust prosecution, including ________ and _________, and UIUC's summer funding would enable me to join these efforts during law school.")? I don't think the idea is too political as it is now, but it is a little too specific about the victim ("farmers whose soybeans have cross-pollinated with Monsanto's patented soybeans and who are now being prosecuted" ) and way too vague about what you want to do and what UIUC can help you with.
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"If there is anything of which I know positively nothing, it is agriculture."
-Duke of Wellington
-Duke of Wellington
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