Why Michigan Rough Draft

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
User avatar
Yeshia90
Posts: 988
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:23 am

Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby Yeshia90 » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:01 pm

Got enough help this evening that I'm gonna take this down. Thanks y'all.
Last edited by Yeshia90 on Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MumofCad
Posts: 974
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:46 pm

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby MumofCad » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:22 pm

I don't have any experience with this, but...I'm not a huge fan.

First, the "greater good" seems awfully cliche. Do you have something in your resume you can draw on to convince me of this instead of telling me directly that you are going to make the world a better place with your law degree? I think it would be more effective and convincing to show me your commitment rather than it seeming like idle fancy. Especially since we saw from the Michigan thread that many many applicants say this.

I'm not sure your humor at the end really succeeds either.

Overall, I don't think the tone is very likeable. I could be wrong though. Sorry! Just wanted to be honest for your sake.

User avatar
buckilaw
Posts: 840
Joined: Fri May 07, 2010 1:27 am

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby buckilaw » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:43 pm

It seems a bit too general and you are talking about clinics and PI work. I'd suggest you talk about how a specific clinic will help you do the type of PI that you are interested in.

UML
Posts: 48
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 12:03 pm

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby UML » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:50 pm

Meh...you could cross out Michigan and write-in any of the t-14 and your letter would make just as much sense. I don't think this essay could add anything to your app., and it may detract.

If I were you I would (1) get a copy of Anna Ivey's book and (2) come to Ann Arbor, visit the campus, and talk to people. Then you could write a truly effective Why Michigan.

User avatar
kaftka juice
Posts: 97
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2010 9:49 pm

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby kaftka juice » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:51 pm

I agree--I think writing about how you like doing community service or will work for the "greater good" is going to come off looking like a load of bs--even if it's true. Mentioning a specific clinic is good...however many schools have innocence clinics. So you will not really be proving your research skills by saying Michigan is unique in that respect. If you really are interested in their innocence project clinic, you should look up what prior students have done in that specific clinic.

You spend most of your time just saying how much you like Michigan...it's basically fluff. You should spend this space proving that the word Michigan could not be substituted for any other peer school. Look at what individual professors have done and talk about how you have an interest in that. Find out some special program they have and say you're interested in it.

I would also mention how you are really interested in Ann Arbor (if you've been there before, even better). I went to UMich undergrad, and I can tell you that people who live in AA tend to love it. If you're unfamiliar with the area, you can mention all of the entertainment (lots of concerts, musicals, art shows, etc.), the food, the nature trails (if you like hiking or biking), and the food (case in point: Zingermans).

HTH

User avatar
kaftka juice
Posts: 97
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2010 9:49 pm

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby kaftka juice » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:54 pm

Also, don't say Penn State is U of M's rival. Because no one at Michigan really thinks that.

User avatar
Yeshia90
Posts: 988
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:23 am

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby Yeshia90 » Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:57 pm

I'm trying to focus the essay around a more specific theme--namely, one of the clinics--but I'm having trouble running up against the length limit. It said I should write just one page--can I take that to mean single-spaced, or is it assumed to be double?

User avatar
buckilaw
Posts: 840
Joined: Fri May 07, 2010 1:27 am

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby buckilaw » Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:41 am

kaftka juice wrote:Also, don't say Penn State is U of M's rival. Because no one at Michigan really thinks that.


Truth.

User avatar
Yeshia90
Posts: 988
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:23 am

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby Yeshia90 » Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:42 am

buckilaw wrote:
kaftka juice wrote:Also, don't say Penn State is U of M's rival. Because no one at Michigan really thinks that.


Truth.


Hey, that doesn't mean we don't hate you. Especially because of 2005. Bullshit two seconds, my ass.

User avatar
descartesb4thehorse
Posts: 1147
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:03 am

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby descartesb4thehorse » Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:39 am

I thought I made a blatant statement in the Mich applicants thread that anyone who didn't send me theirs is on my shitlist.

...Guys I'm going to be so bored for the next 10 months.

User avatar
Yeshia90
Posts: 988
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:23 am

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby Yeshia90 » Fri Aug 19, 2011 5:15 pm

descartesb4thehorse wrote:I thought I made a blatant statement in the Mich applicants thread that anyone who didn't send me theirs is on my shitlist.

...Guys I'm going to be so bored for the next 10 months.


Check your pm's.

User avatar
descartesb4thehorse
Posts: 1147
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:03 am

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby descartesb4thehorse » Fri Aug 19, 2011 5:29 pm

Devon's off the shitlist.

User avatar
descartesb4thehorse
Posts: 1147
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:03 am

Re: Why Michigan Rough Draft

Postby descartesb4thehorse » Sat Aug 20, 2011 2:31 am

Devon were you a part of the Paranormal Research Society? I feel like that would make a particularly compelling PS.




Return to “Law School Personal Statements”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.