Rough PS- Advice Needed!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
ash0117
Posts: 246
Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:10 pm

Rough PS- Advice Needed!

Postby ash0117 » Sat Jul 23, 2011 3:43 pm

DELETED. Thanks for the advice, I am going to write something different.
Last edited by ash0117 on Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

horrorbusiness
Posts: 669
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2011 6:49 pm

Re: Rough PS- Advice Needed!

Postby horrorbusiness » Sat Jul 23, 2011 11:54 pm

Frankly, (and I'm no expert, obviously), I really don't like this. The TLDR of this is: "I have a severely messed up sister, and I'm willing to leave her behind to go to law school". I just feel a bit underwhelmed by this.

ash0117
Posts: 246
Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:10 pm

Re: Rough PS- Advice Needed!

Postby ash0117 » Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:25 am

.
Last edited by ash0117 on Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kimberly
Posts: 120
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 10:45 pm

Re: Rough PS- Advice Needed!

Postby Kimberly » Sun Jul 24, 2011 3:17 am

I agree with previous. You have had difficult experiences that have probably shaped who you are and have probably contributed significantly to your maturity and life views. That said, IMHO, your PS should be about who you are, what you are looking for, and perhaps peripherally and briefly how past experiences have shaped those things. Try not to depress your readers.

shoeshine
Posts: 1241
Joined: Wed May 04, 2011 10:58 pm

Re: Rough PS- Advice Needed!

Postby shoeshine » Sun Jul 24, 2011 3:31 am

I would completely re-do this. The subject matter is lacking. It tells me nothing about you. If you are going to describe a family hardship it is best to describe how you overcame that hardship. You could mention your family problems but make your PS about you.




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