(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:02 pm
cc1236 wrote:Any critiques/comments are highly appreciated.
Dreams, Perseverance, Never Stop
For much of my childhood, I stayed with my grandmother in a small village in northern part of China. My grandfather passed away [fighting] for his country during [the] Chinese Civil War, leaving grandmother to support the eight-person family in one of the darkest periods of Chinese history. Nationalism, patriotism and social commitment inhabited in my early life with their influence. I admired my grandfather’s figure with [his] handsome uniform;
although that was never seen in person,he was the hero in my heart. My father followed and served the Navy for almost thirty years. As the only son in my family, I attended a respectful military institution. That year, I was the only student in my high school class joining the army with a high university admission test score. What are you saying? People who join the army are stupid? Anyway, you have an interesting story and a great "hook.". I didn't read any further (dinner time)
However, the world I perceived did not look like what I had imagined before. Military force, albeit essential, did not dominate people’s normal life any longer. After one year’s extensive physical training with the first class honor in my platoon and I was allowed to choose a major and study in university. I disobeyed with my father’s instruction stubbornly at this time. I strived to select a social science, finally law and management, which in my eye will be the cutting-edge in the society. I left the beloved troop and comrades in a cold winter with a dream to develop myself in a new direction. With years’ perseverance, the glories in the law school and the passion to work in the forefront eventually confirmed my lifelong campaign in legal career.
One year ago, when I was about to start my permanent judge assistant employment in China Supreme Court, a surprisingly generous offer from [...] provides me the opportunity to study business law in a refreshing world. The past one year has substantially changed my views.
I have been to many places in the world, but the United States of America is particularly charming for idealism I have long adhered to. As a new comer, I was stunned by the splendid possibilities open to ordinary people. The society was dominated by rationale talk and disciplined manner. Fortunately, I was in a good niche to further observe these phenomenons.
I remember everything seems perfect when I studied law in China—complicated rules, esoteric jargon, and elite profession. But when I knew how the US investors are protected in the States, and the subtle balance between issuers and investors, I feel astonished by the basic ideas I have never thought about—the outcome is dominated by rationale, principles and sometimes efficiency. This spurred me to recall an old case that I was involved in China: extremely similar scenarios—innocence investors were misguided by the listed company, bankrupt and dissolved. In contrast to the US judge’s structured approach, I assisted the Chinese judge on drafting a judgment to try to claim down the panic investors and downplay the case without social instability. The justice was fulfilled by equality and new standards came out in the US; but in China, the justice was achieved by an outcome of society harmony. Granted, society harmony was not a bad goal. But the result was achieved randomly, no certainty was established and no rules were developed, and this could not operate perpetually. I gradually realized the more fundamental approach, analysis skills and methodologies are far more important than concrete rules and procedures. When Dean [...] shook hands with me in the commencement ceremony, I told myself: the dream should not stop here. Studies on the US law shall not be completed until I become a competent user of rational reasoning, a true follower of rule of law and a humble believer of legal judgment.
With this eagerness, research and personal reflection, I realized that my ideal path would be to continue my legal education at [...]. [...] was a center of Constitutional law teaching and various basic law subjects. I desire to sit in the brilliant thinkers’ class and spend abundant time to know more about how certainty and variation are reconciled, to discuss the beauty of the US law with the sanity class. I also wish to join in a project in the International Human Rights and Supreme Court Litigation clinics, to be part of the premier China “Guiding Case” research and compilation led by Professor [...]. I hope to be an active member in and dedicate to the Center on Democracy, Development and the Rule of Law, and to find US counterparts and colleagues in the nation’s oldest and most important center on security—Center for International Security and Cooperation. The road to [...] should never be easy, but every time when I closed the last light in law building and breathed the fresh air in the constructing east terrace, I felt more close to my dream.
I remember three years ago when we set up the editorial board of [...] Law Review with the belief in the importance of freedom and intelligence prosperity for China’s citizens, we gone through a strenuous process to proceed—the staple hurdle was we were bereft of direction. We were confused by the conflict between Confucius and contemporary values. The further studies in [...] would be a significant step for me to understand the legal system and the reality, to clarify the way leading to a wealth, democratic and justice China. With well-equipped mind, I will come back to China to continue my family’s commitment in a new direction.
Do you think is it interesting or boring? Could you keep on reading the essay?
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