PLEASE TEAR MY PS TO SHREDS! I WILL APPRECIATE ANY HELP!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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esq
Posts: 571
Joined: Tue Jul 13, 2010 9:59 pm

Re: PLEASE TEAR MY PS TO SHREDS! I WILL APPRECIATE ANY HELP!

Postby esq » Sun Mar 13, 2011 9:56 pm

It doesn't look like you changed this much at all. If you really want some helpful feedback here, you have to show some effort and really make this PS over. Try starting from scratch with a more structured approach. Start with a thesis, end with a restatement of that thesis, and the standard 3 paragraphs in between. This might be the best approach for you since, from this repost, it looks like you are out of fresh ideas, and a more structured approach might at least help you to condense everything to its proper length.

halostarbucks
Posts: 42
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2011 10:31 pm

Re: PLEASE TEAR MY PS TO SHREDS! I WILL APPRECIATE ANY HELP!

Postby halostarbucks » Sun Mar 13, 2011 10:28 pm

esq wrote:It doesn't look like you changed this much at all. If you really want some helpful feedback here, you have to show some effort and really make this PS over. Try starting from scratch with a more structured approach. Start with a thesis, end with a restatement of that thesis, and the standard 3 paragraphs in between. This might be the best approach for you since, from this repost, it looks like you are out of fresh ideas, and a more structured approach might at least help you to condense everything to its proper length.


Okay, here is what I am going to try to do for an outline then.

Thesis: Life is short, I want to make mine meaningful through a fulfilling career.

P1: Why I find law meaningful.

P2: My background

P3: What I want to do with a law degree

Conclusion: Optimistic view on life and future plans and something specifically tailored to individual university.

How does that sound?

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rinkrat19
Posts: 13912
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:35 am

Re: PLEASE TEAR MY PS TO SHREDS! I WILL APPRECIATE ANY HELP!

Postby rinkrat19 » Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:31 am

halostarbucks wrote:
esq wrote:It doesn't look like you changed this much at all. If you really want some helpful feedback here, you have to show some effort and really make this PS over. Try starting from scratch with a more structured approach. Start with a thesis, end with a restatement of that thesis, and the standard 3 paragraphs in between. This might be the best approach for you since, from this repost, it looks like you are out of fresh ideas, and a more structured approach might at least help you to condense everything to its proper length.


Okay, here is what I am going to try to do for an outline then.

Thesis: Life is short, I want to make mine meaningful through a fulfilling career.

P1: Why I find law meaningful.

P2: My background

P3: What I want to do with a law degree

Conclusion: Optimistic view on life and future plans and something specifically tailored to individual university.

How does that sound?


It sounds like 5 topics for 5 essays.

Try:

Thesis: I find law meaningful.
P1: Example/description of how/why I find law meaningful.
P2: Example/description of how/why I find law meaningful.
P3: Example/description of how/why I find law meaningful.
Conclusion: I find law meaningful.

halostarbucks
Posts: 42
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2011 10:31 pm

Re: PLEASE TEAR MY PS TO SHREDS! I WILL APPRECIATE ANY HELP!

Postby halostarbucks » Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:55 am

[quote
It sounds like 5 topics for 5 essays.

Try:

Thesis: I find law meaningful.
P1: Example/description of how/why I find law meaningful.
P2: Example/description of how/why I find law meaningful.
P3: Example/description of how/why I find law meaningful.
Conclusion: I find law meaningful.[/quote]

Okay, I'll see what I can do to write it from that angle.

livelovelaugh49
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:10 pm

Re: PLEASE TEAR MY PS TO SHREDS! I WILL APPRECIATE ANY HELP!

Postby livelovelaugh49 » Mon Aug 15, 2011 2:58 pm

halostarbucks wrote:
sparty99 wrote:
halostarbucks wrote:I made consistently over 160 on the practice tests but the damn logic games screwed me up really bad, and that was the double section on the LSAT. I agree with you guys that it would be great to take another year, and that is an option I'm definitely leaving open but I really don't see the harm in applying since they've waived the application fees anyway and I would like to see if I can get a scholarship that would make it worth it.

I got an email from the Florida Coastal admissions office a week ago letting me know that my GPA and LSAT qualifies me for a $10,000 merit scholarship (I know WTF?!).
According to this site the school seems pretty legit:
http://www.top-law-schools.com/florida-coastal-law.html

95% employment and 83% bar pass.


Did you read the conclusion? "As a Tier 4 law school in a market saturated with lawyers, graduates of Florida Coastal will likely find their transition into the workforce to be difficult. With over $109,000 in debt and the prospect of making less than $50,000 coming out of law school, Florida Coastal graduates face a rough road ahead of them." $50,000? I made that with my bachelors.

EVERYONE gets an email from Florida Coastal. I appreciated their efforts contacting me, it made me feel special. However, the school is not legit. You can do better. What if you do bad first semester? Get ill or something? You will lose the scholarship and no school will take your weak tier 4 grades. You will then graduate from a tier 4.

A higher score on the LSAT and you could be thinking, Michigan State Law. A well established third tier with resources of a legit university. An even higher LSAT score and you can be thinking Florida. Even higher, 170, you can definitely be thinking top 30 with a strong personal statement and work experience. Don't settle for these tier 4's. I'd kill for a 160 LSAT, don't let it go to waste.


Well what do you think of this idea? I could go ahead and apply to the T4 schools on my list, but take the LSAT again in July and try for 160+ this time, and then apply to some decent T2 schools ( I would LOVE to get in University of San Diego or Penn State for example) for Spring admission, and if I got an acceptance letter prior to September then I would roll with that instead. Granted I would be out the $500 deposit for the T4 but it's safe to say that I really wouldn't care at that point.


There are only a handful of schools that have spring admissions and University of San Diego and Penn State are not included in that handful, just thought I'd pass that on to you as I am looking at Spring admissions too to just see if I can get into them, but I hear our best bet is to wait for fall admissions because one there are SOO many more options and two it will help more once we graduate going into the work field. Also, I have been advised that no spring program is worth going to. Hope this helps some! Best of luck!




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