Please vote on which yale 250 I should use! Varied themes.

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )

Which should I use

1. "advocate"
1
6%
2. "my quest"
8
50%
3. "poker"
7
44%
 
Total votes: 16

hotshot234512
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:52 am

Please vote on which yale 250 I should use! Varied themes.

Postby hotshot234512 » Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:27 pm

1.
Sometimes the most satisfying victories are not fit for a resume. It was a proud moment looking my pledges in the eye at initiation, knowing that we never hazed, and hoping that they learned as much from me as I learned from them. Eventually, they became the force behind [name of our philanthropy event], our annual philanthropy event, shattering the [our fraternity name] worldwide record for money raised, which more importantly was the biggest check any student organization has given to the [major well known charity] ($xx,xxx). My personal statement attests to my personal growth, and it has become a philosophy that I love to share; however, there comes a time when improving yourself is not enough, especially for someone entertaining thoughts of being a good lawyer. The best advocates in life – and I hope in law – help by the purest of means, they teach. Of course if I went into practice I would not march my clients up to deliver their own closing statement, but still, it would behoove me to teach them to avoid risqué situations.
I remember dealing with a depressed friend. Together, we created a plan. His problems were mainly manifestations of an underlying issue, a lack of self-control, so we talked about exercise, eating right, and study habits – and reified this learning through a timetable that added structure and tracked progress. Victory was when he dropped 60 pounds, boosted his GPA, and shared a laugh with a girl, reclaiming the kind of adolescent moment he was deprived of.

2.
I am often forgotten. I am buried by the soil shoveled aside in the dig for gold, but I am the real treasure. I am an end goal, a long-term concept, often ignored while an indefinite succession of short term goals are prioritized. It is a perilous path when you stray from me with the vague promise to return “someday”.

Every day, though, is an opportunity to renew the search. Commitment is the consistent cornerstone of all those that do find me. Be wary of my brother, Complacency. He would show you the easy, but hide the hallowness, that your life with him would entail. If you succumb to this seduction you will never be able to distinguish between the two of us.

You may have caught glimpses of me. I was there for graduation, and I was there when your studying paid off and you got that score you dreamed of; however, I will only be a dream if you think that those moments are enough to permanently engage me. They represent starting points in a quest that make for a worthwhile journey, one that you can look back on with pride knowing that somehow you made things better. Only then can you reach satisfaction.

Many years ago I heard of a new haven for those that pursue me. A school named Yale where my importance is still remembered and terrible puns are forgotten, or at least forgiven…hopefully.

3.
Poker players often follow a perilous path when they play draws. Draws are incomplete hands, like having four out of five cards to a flush. Understanding pot odds and implied odds is crucial to playing draws profitability. Traditionally in Hold’em poker, which features four potential rounds of betting, the consideration of pot odds first presents itself on the second round of betting. Pot odds are the chances of completing a draw versus the current pay out (pot); a one in four chance to complete a draw for a three to one payout is poor equity. Implied odds are your future expectation of pot odds. The current pot may only be three times the amount you need to put in, but what if you suspect that your opponent will later – thinking his hand is still good – bet double the pot? Suddenly a three to one payout becomes a potential nine to one payout (the original pot plus the double pot bet). Knowing these implied odds, it makes sense to call with a one in four hand. Accurately assessing implied odds depends on accrued knowledge and recognizing your opponent. The disparity between the certainty of pot odds and the conjecture of implied odds is why I love the game. It reminds me that poker is both a game of math and an exploration of human nature. Like in poker, life decisions are not made in a vacuum. To think that a right decision can be arrived at just by analyzing the current situation is dismissive of future ramifications. Only by bridging the gap between immediate information and future possibilities can one decisively decide on a course of action.

User avatar
AreJay711
Posts: 3406
Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:51 pm

Re: Please vote on which yale 250 I should use! Varied themes.

Postby AreJay711 » Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:33 pm

The poker one is interesting. Go with that.

User avatar
fatduck
Posts: 4186
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2010 10:16 pm

Re: Please vote on which yale 250 I should use! Varied themes.

Postby fatduck » Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:45 pm

i didn't like the poker one. i was mostly thinking "get to the fucking point" which isn't good for a 250 word essay.

i think i'm leaning toward #2, but #1 isn't bad, either.

eta: i've also played tens of thousands of hours of poker, so my opinion might not be representative.

sparty99
Posts: 1433
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:41 pm

Re: Please vote on which yale 250 I should use! Varied themes.

Postby sparty99 » Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:26 pm

Not crazy about any of them, but I guess i'd pick #1. #2 sounds too poetic and 3# sounds like you're trying too hard. In addition, it's too detailed and you use the word "pot" like 10x+ which was annoying. pot, pot, pot, pot. little pot, big pot, blah, blah.

User avatar
Flips88
Posts: 13671
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2010 7:42 pm

Re: Please vote on which yale 250 I should use! Varied themes.

Postby Flips88 » Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:32 am

#3 seems most viable. #1 is all over the place with no coherence. #2 sounds like it belongs on a motivational poster and your attempt to be cute "I hope Yale forgives bad puns" line at the end falls super flat. Go with the poker one if you have to go with one of these.

kublaikahn
Posts: 647
Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2011 12:47 am

Re: Please vote on which yale 250 I should use! Varied themes.

Postby kublaikahn » Tue Feb 22, 2011 5:03 am

.
Last edited by kublaikahn on Tue May 17, 2011 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
TIMEATELL
Posts: 38
Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2010 4:13 am

Re: Please vote on which yale 250 I should use! Varied themes.

Postby TIMEATELL » Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:07 am

I agree with Kublai...#2 is the better option. As a poker player, I appreciate the effort you put into #3, but I don't think it goes far enough (due to the 250 limit). As I was reading it, I couldn't help but think about other factors that come into play when one is determining whether or not it makes sense to call with a one and four hand (i.e. reverse implied odds).




Return to “Law School Personal Statements”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.