PS for Homeless, HS dropout

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )

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PS for Homeless, HS dropout

Postby ryanw5520 » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:00 pm

LSAT is 153('09) 162('10) LSDAS GPA is 2.8, I'm applying to tier two and three schools what do you think?

<>I can only describe the feelings from the meeting that morning as an epiphany. I was working at the St. Vincent House Homeless Family Shelter in downtown Omaha where we had weekly staff meetings every Monday morning in order to discuss the relations and cases of guests within the house. This particular weekend I was assigned the evening and overnight shifts. The Saturday night before the meeting, a man called and described how he and his sons had previously lived with a relative who they could no longer stay with, and therefore needed a place.
<>Later when they arrived, I noticed that they were a rather stocky family consisting of a father with three sons, two were quite older and the other was around the age of ten. We had rooms available, so I completed the initial intake process and made sure the rooms were prepped. I contacted the director and together we determined that it was okay to allow them to temporarily take two small rooms as long as I informed them that they may all have to move to one large room after the weekend. Being the one on staff at the time I could attest that the large room would have been rather uncomfortable for this family. So, the rooms were split with the two older sons in one and the father and youngest son in the other.
<>We always opened the weekly staff meetings on Monday by detailing the events over the weekend for the professional case workers. The topic eventually settled on the occupancy situation of the family discussed above. The staff became divided around one question. Could we justify allowing the family to live more comfortably in two rooms if it means turning away people that could possibly be received? As my turn to speak grew near emotions of appreciation and remorse befell me.
<>No more then five years earlier, I along with my mother and little brother were forced to stay in the Salvation Army's emergency shelter. Even though I was told I could have a room of my own, at the age of fifteen I found it hard to muster any gratitude for their hospitality. The staff there was exceptional. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how exceptional they were until mere moments before my turn to give my input for the meeting at hand. I was hit with increasing waves of realization. Why was I allowed a room of my own, while other families were left in strange situations: sleeping in their car, staying in abusive relationships, or over-burdening extended families and friends? I realized that the staff that took care of my family did so by making us feel as welcome and as comfortable as they could. I became aware of the true humanity with which I was treated before. I understood that my time in a homeless shelter wasn't something to look back on and feel responsible for, regret, or feel ashamed of. Rather, I was given the learning experience of a lifetime.
<>Reflecting on my experiences I could say that the staff at the Salvation Army made great steps to make me feel as autonomous and respected as possible. This in turn allowed me to be a stronger person for my family in the past, and also compelled me to make this family's stay as painless as possible. When my turn came to speak, I was void of the usual nervousness and anxiety that accompanies public speaking, instead I felt an over-whelming confidence that was supported by feelings of purposeness, dignity, and appreciation. I then delivered a very effective and sound argument as to how allowing them to stay in two rooms would help maintain the family's morale, especially amongst the older ones whose age puts them at a greater risk of becoming individual homeless youths. Aside from this specific example, my position within the shelter allowed me to fall back on many of my personal experiences with poverty to help see things through the eyes of our guests, but more importantly I was granted an opportunity to see how I could possibly tackle social issues on a larger scale.
<>While working at the shelter I was introduced to Pat Ford. He is an attorney for the Legal Aid Society of Nebraska in Omaha . He would frequent the shelter where I worked, although he made his career on the west coast he spent his retirement helping the indigent within our city. Although I had little more then a GED at the time, I derived from his work that an education was my best chance to hurdle the various challenges of poverty that was experienced by myself and countless others.
<>I'm really going to enjoy celebrating my graduation from the University of Nebraska at Omaha this spring, I'm also getting married in May as well. I am proud of the road I traveled to get here and I see no reason to slow my pace. I just hope that the next chapter of my story can begin at XXX University School of Law, where I can learn skills that I can return to the society that took care of me years before.



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Re: PS for Homeless, HS dropout

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:30 pm

Genuine & sincere. Readers should like you & admire your goals.

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Re: PS for Homeless, HS dropout

Postby deadpoetnsp » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:37 pm

As my turn to speak grew near emotions of appreciation and remorse befell me.

Rephrase the italicized bit; it's a little awkward.

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Re: PS for Homeless, HS dropout

Postby pu_golf88 » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:39 pm

deadpoetnsp wrote:
As my turn to speak grew near emotions of appreciation and remorse befell me.

Rephrase the italicized bit; it's a little awkward.

I'd say just add a comma after "near".


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Re: PS for Homeless, HS dropout

Postby mala2 » Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:24 pm

I think it's great.


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Re: PS for Homeless, HS dropout

Postby BizOwner » Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:26 am

Sounds good and somewhat familiar. We come from similar backgrounds.

I have heard that referring to an "epiphany" is a no no. Maybe reword that sentence.

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