Final PS. please help and evaluate. really need an opinion

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Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:49 pm

Final PS. please help and evaluate. really need an opinion

Postby annak. » Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:16 pm

I need your opinion about it. Any comment on this PS would be highly appreciated.

There are paths that we choose and paths that choose us. I guess I was chosen.

I am 20 years old and I have already seen 3 revolutions, 2 civil wars and 2 conventional wars that my small country carried out, country that is barely seen on the map. As a little girl Every night I would stand near the window and watch flashing lights. I was laughing, thinking that there was a carnival outside of my house. Unfortunately, the reality was far away from the carnival, there was a “tragicomic” civil war in my town.
Instead of asking silly childish questions, I only wondered when would my dad come back home from war, which in my imagination was a place where he worked. For 8 month we had no idea he was alive, among dead or hurt. My mom was pregnant and she had to stand in a lines for hours to buy bread, milk and sugar which was the only food available.
In that period, no family was an exemption. majority of my classmates and children of my age grew without fathers. Capital of Georgia, turned into the city of sorrows and grief; the black became the main clothing color, to mourn people who died in the war. We were not moving forward, nor were we moving backwards. Georgia stood still! During the years Watching my country sink slowly I started to question myself: where are we going? Where is the end of this plural disturbance? Will there be an end at all? Why is there such a dramatic difference between Georgia and foreign countries? Questions were too many, but no one to provide answers. Thus, I decided to quest in to the law world, where I could find the answers to my own questions.
During my studies on the law bachelor another war broke out. The feeling of a weakness, that as a girl I could not do anything and the crying of my inner voice that it is not right in 21 century in Europe that people are dying protecting their territories. It is not right when the aggressor country is ruining your city, annihilates your countries rights, just because one is bigger and stronger. I can not describe the chaos that was happening in my mind and in my heart. It is difficult to compare to anything. I could not escape it . I do not know was it from fear and shock, or was it patriotic spirit but I wanted to go and stand for my country and stop everything. But I understood that I could not and I was depressed knowing that I had to sit and wait for everything to end. This feeling can only be compared only with a nightmare, when you want to do something, but you can not. You want to run, but legs would not move, you want to shout but the voice would not come out. Have you ever had such a dream? It is an awful feeling, but it is worse when its happening in reality. War was my reality. Nothing is worse. It is merciless. There are no rules. War does not know a friend or a family. It ruins everything on its way. Everyone is equal. Like me everybody was waiting it to end, or would it end ever? I was put down with a single sought of staying in the basement at night in order if a bomb would hit my house I would survive, or I was in total communication vacuum, I could not contact with my friends as all the masts were bombed. But the worst part is when you hear a sound of a helicopter. And when the sound is becoming louder you realize that is coming closer and you wait for the next blow. Another minute there is an ideal silence. But as expect aggravates everything even silence is loud. And hear it goes. Another bang. The first feeling is the feeling of the happiness, because If you heard the sound it means that you are alive. The second you start to think whether your friend have survived or not and then there comes a SHOCK. You know that someone is not alive anymore, or is struggling caught under ruins and it must have been me. Just one thought of that made me desperate.
Being a victim of so much distress I could not see my own future anymore. But I guess there are moments in everybody’s life when you stay alone with yourselves and ask who are you? Who you want to become? what is your aim? For me this moment staged in this situation, when because of existed circumstances I was thinking about a lot of things, my views and opinions on specific things changed. When having a little knowledge in law, I started to analysis domestic and international situations, see the mistakes, connect law violations and evaluate the conditions correctly. I was happy to know that I was able to inter the inferences on my own and saw that everything, directly or obliquely was connected with law and our jurisdiction. This is when I realized that law is not only a collection of articles and statute books. It is actually a lifelike organism. Each article must be consequent to a whole law organism. And only that way it is possible to understand why this or that article is important. Like body organ can not exist by itself, the article alone is only writing on a paper and nothing more. That were the main factors that once and for all made me decide to continue my studying in law world.
After getting an adequate knowledge from the master’s degree I am sure that a lot of doors will open for me and I will have an opportunity to help my country to deal with problems that it faces. I know that business is not developing, when the corruption is strengthening its roots. Human rights have no value, where the half of the population suffers from the poverty. There is no place left for law, when illegality is lodged. Without their eradication I think that there is no chance that a democracy will prosper. Being a victim of all the situations, I precisely know what can be done. I just need more knowledge and more experience to do everything correctly, because there is no time for mistakes and second chances. Through developing proper law system in Georgia, I want to show people that the law is the footing and if it is strong, than all other problems will arrange naturally. I want them to understand that their rights are the most precious and nobody can take it away from them. I want them to respect and to trust the law. Unfortunately, this is a very difficult task to do, but if nobody starts to think about this, than we will never come out of the dark. Hemingway said: “never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee…..” I am sure that that bell tolls for me, too in order to do my bit in helping my country to develop justful society. I know it is not easy, but at least I want to try.


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Re: Final PS. please help and evaluate. really need an opinion

Postby mala2 » Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:33 pm

Good topic, I would take out the quote at the beginning. You have a lot of grammar problems, mostly minor things like leaving out articles, I'm in a hurry now but I'll edit it later.

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