Critique my PS--Swaps Welcome! (Super Late Applicant) Forum

[supermannn]

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[supermannn]

*too impatient* bump

[hokie]

it is fairly good but not *super* great (had to use that one ). It definitely sounds like an interesting single experience that turned you towards applying for law school but I feel that you are just focusing on that one incident. I think it would be better if you could shorten all the description about the event and describe a little more about your job at camp, showcasing some of your strengths. Overall, it's pretty good (although there are some grammatical/weirdly worded stuff which I PMed you about) but I would try to make the bulk of it focus more on things you did and/or were able to achieve.

[supermannn]

thanks for the tips hokie. I do see how I go into too much detail about Brian's story and not enough about me. However, when I was looking to cut it down, it was just so hard to take out certain sentences because I remembered nearly every detail of that story (and I wanted to convey how I felt). Any other thoughts?

[Flips88]

LSAT = Law School Admission Test. Saying the LSAT exam is redundant. Just a small thing to fix.

[LSATclincher]

I stopped reading this half-way through. Forget Brian, and talk about you. I literally couldn't continue. It seems you have a neat background w/ the scouts (a huge plus if you're attending a conservative law school w/ conservative adcomms). You have to market yourself for the adcomms. By quick glance, this also looks too long. It appears to go beyond 2pgs in 12 font.

[supermannn]

thank you for all of the feedback. After re-reading it, I definitely see that I was more telling a story/focusing on Brian rather than marketing myself. I am in the process of writing a nearly new PS and will post it shortly for further critique. Thanks again everyone; all of your help is truly the best!