. Forum

Its the gel man · Post by **Its the gel man** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:28 pm

radio edit

berto24 · Post by **berto24** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:38 pm

I got lost in the second and third paragraph. I think you have good content, but cut out a lot of the redundant explanations about travel and get to why you want to go to law school.

Also the Spanish immigrant comment in the last paragraph, what does that pertain to? I don't see a connection.

Its the gel man · Post by **Its the gel man** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:44 pm

Hmm... Well I obviosly didn't explain myself well. The immigrant comment pertains to me returning to the US and reaching out to the Latino community and trying to help them assimilate etc.

Thanks for the quick reply

Its the gel man · Post by **Its the gel man** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 8:10 am

anyone else?

. Forum

.

Re: First Draft! Please critique

Re: First Draft! Please critique

Re: First Draft! Please critique

Register now to search topics and post comments!