Cursing in Personal Statement

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
LSATclincher
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Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby LSATclincher » Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:09 am

I used the term "damn-near" in my personal statement. I also used the term "fuckin' shyster" in quote from a defendant in a court case in which I partook.

While I guess I could eliminate both of these curse words, I really feel they add significant affect to the story I'm trying to create. I wanted to know everyone's take on using curse words in a PS.

Ghost
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby Ghost » Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:15 am

.
Last edited by Ghost on Wed Aug 31, 2011 1:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

CO2014
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby CO2014 » Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:50 am

Lmao, you just made my Christmas.. "Fuckin' shyster". Keep it.

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traehekat
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby traehekat » Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:51 am

drop the f bomb, obviously.

is damn-near used as part of a quotation as well? If not, probably drop it as well.

yes, cursing and swearing adds a certain effect. that is why movies like happy gilmore suck to watch on TNT. however, i highly doubt it is the effect you want to have.

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funkytown
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby funkytown » Sat Dec 25, 2010 12:30 pm

As long as it's done tastefully.

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sophia.olive
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby sophia.olive » Sat Dec 25, 2010 12:37 pm

those curse words are not nearly strong or funny enough.

a. go stronger like you f&%$ s$%^ w$#ing M*%$#%, in the k^$#$ on tuesdays.

b. or the fantastic mr. fox route. "cluster curse"

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Maven
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby Maven » Sat Dec 25, 2010 12:46 pm

I can tell you that most Jewish lawyers would consider the word "shyster" offensive since antisemites often use it.
Many adcoms are Jewish. I'll leave it to you to draw your own conclusion.

justadude55
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby justadude55 » Sat Dec 25, 2010 1:36 pm

a friend of mine once used fa*got in quotations in a personal statement about a hate comment someone said to him (he was gay). he got into some reaches. i think the shyster might get a certain level of "shit, i gotta read this closer." the f-bomb might get a, "is this kid out of his mind?" that could be balls, but you need to be sure it'll add a certain influence. i personally would use it for reaches, and would drop it for safeties.

1234543523

Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby 1234543523 » Sat Dec 25, 2010 1:41 pm

Depends on the rest of your personal statement.

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artichoke
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby artichoke » Sat Dec 25, 2010 1:56 pm

yeeeahhh, I don't think you want to get an adcomms attention by swearing. How about writing a compelling PS without the obscenities?

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danquayle
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby danquayle » Sat Dec 25, 2010 2:01 pm

If you have to ask, then that alone should leave you pause. If there's a chance someone might be offended, then consider whether you gain enough. I don't think most people would care, but there are those that might be offended. The personal statement isn't a major factor in admissions, but it's like cover letters in that, at best, it'll be a slight plus factor and, at worst, it'll be a prohibitive one. No adcomm is going to think wow this person swore, they must be bad-ass! Sweet! Auto-admit! but they might think this person swore, they don't know how to carry themselves in a professional setting, and I don't want them representing our law school.

Technically, I think you could leave in the "fuckin' shyster" because its a quote, and therefore not your "voice." But again, is it worth the risk? I doubt it.

Please PM your entire PS though... I'm interested now.

LSATclincher
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby LSATclincher » Sun Dec 26, 2010 11:04 am

Thanks everyone. I took out the "damn-near" statement. I am still debating whether using the "fuckin shyster" comment. The comment is the words of a defendant towards the attorney I worked for during a live court hearing. I think the context is appropriate considering the stage.

CanadianWolf
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby CanadianWolf » Sun Dec 26, 2010 11:09 am

You may want to rephrase your last post unless the attorney for whom you worked qualifies.

LSATclincher
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby LSATclincher » Sun Dec 26, 2010 11:23 am

Here's the excerpt:

In a small, decrepit court room just outside of (City), my mentor argued his case against a borrower who owed $10,000 in credit card debt. Like most, the borrower denied the charges. But the denial also included an outburst in the court room. “I ain’t gonna pay this fuckin’ shyster!,” shouted the borrower in a tirade witnessed by twenty or so citizens.


I next mention a fight that nearly ensued after the hearing...

justadude55
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby justadude55 » Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:09 pm

this might sound random, but i think the inclusion of the curse is partially contingent on the impressiveness of your resume. as an earlier poster said, it can be very unprofessional. if you have written documentation that you are professional, this question may be substantially less likely to arise.

LSATclincher
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby LSATclincher » Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:55 pm

Edit
Last edited by LSATclincher on Sun Dec 26, 2010 4:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

HowdyYall
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby HowdyYall » Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:56 pm

keep both

Capitol A
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby Capitol A » Sun Dec 26, 2010 4:31 pm

HowdyYall wrote:keep both

+1 if applying to BC, Notre Dame, BYU and Liberty. :D

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BriaTharen
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby BriaTharen » Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:25 am

f7 wrote:Depends on the rest of your personal statement.

This

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mths
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby mths » Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:28 am

BriaTharen wrote:
f7 wrote:Depends on the rest of your personal statement.

This

I dunno. I wouldn't...

"damn-near" could be fine in the right context but the adcomms might think you should find a better way to express yourself...using the word "fuck" in a personal statement might not go your way.

LSATclincher
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby LSATclincher » Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:36 am

I see this topic generated a lot of interest. And that, in my opinion, is a good thing. That's why I did prefer to keep the 2 curse words in the statement. However, I got rid of the damn-near comment (largely because I eliminated the entire sentence). I also got rid of the F word in the quote. But as of now, I kept "shyster."

Capitol A
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby Capitol A » Mon Dec 27, 2010 12:02 pm

LSATclincher wrote:I see this topic generated a lot of interest. And that, in my opinion, is a good thing. That's why I did prefer to keep the 2 curse words in the statement. However, I got rid of the damn-near comment (largely because I eliminated the entire sentence). I also got rid of the F word in the quote. But as of now, I kept "shyster."

I think you are wise to get rid of the actual curses. The slur...Perhaps in poor taste, but I suppose if the quote truly adds substance to your PS, then might be okay. The point of the PS is to show them the type of person that you are. Relate something that does not come across in your resume. With that in mind, cursing really makes you look unintelligent, whether it's in your daily speech, or in an essay it just makes you seem ignorant or like you have a poor vocabulary. Shocking is only synonomous with impressive up until about 10th grade (that's why you won't be running into your local adcomm while out watching Jackass 3D). I understand that the curses in question are in a quote, but I would just have to ask if there is a more tasteful way of conveying the point just as strongly.

DoctorSurf
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby DoctorSurf » Tue Dec 28, 2010 12:40 pm

Go out on a limb, like i said in a post before, I went with a pretty outlandish abstract PS for my med school residency apps and it was quite successful. Here it is in all of its glory.

It is amazing to think how many “personal statement” style essays I have written over the years and how my personal statement has changed over time. I think about the Bob Dylan song “The Times They are a Changing”, and in retrospect when I always agreed with the interpretation of his words, it is really the people that are changing with the time, and that time is the true constant that does not change. 12:00pm today will be the same time tomorrow as it will be next week as it will be next year, but with all of those hours passing, the world can change at any moment and with that, as can you or I, therefore it is really impossible to predict what you will feel or what you will perceive because what you may feel is right today, you may feel is wrong tomorrow. I have grown up dreaming of becoming a doctor, changing someone’s life for the better, imagining what really goes on in the OR, apart what I grew up watching on television, and that dream is becoming very close to reality. The only thing I can rely on now is that in this specific time, you see me as the right person that you perceive as a future physician and colleague in this particular field. What I have learned in these past two years is the true variety and differences there are in the medical community. How a surgeon thinks one way compared to an internist who thinks another way compared to an anesthesiologist who thinks another way to a family medicine doctor or pediatrician who have all read the same books and taken the same tests with the same goals, yet have become so different. I spent the first two years of medical school learning how the body works as one and what allows it to do so, and have now spent the last two learning how truly different medicine can be. What it is like to feel the rush of being in the OR, under the gun, watching the surgeon mechanically fix the body solely with the use of his hands and tools verses working in a family medicine office, discovering the cause of a patients debilitating condition that has caused them to suffer for years and knowing that by giving them THIS medication or referring them to THAT doctor that you have changed their life forever. This is medicine. It is so unique in that no matter what you choose to do, and if one day you change your mind and decide to specialize in something else, the ability to heal will always be in your hands. From a scalpel to a script pad, I will feel blessed in whatever I am chosen to do knowing that I will get the opportunity to make a difference in someone else’s life, changing them, not time, while still remembering not to forget to occasionally stop and smell the roses.

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Burgstaller04
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby Burgstaller04 » Tue Dec 28, 2010 5:01 pm

What the f'n shyster are you talking about?

Capitol A
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Re: Cursing in Personal Statement

Postby Capitol A » Tue Dec 28, 2010 7:22 pm

Burgstaller04 wrote:What the f'n shyster are you talking about?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!




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