I have tweaked my original submission to the site, which got some great feedback that helped me alot. I'm hoping to get some additional thoughts... good and bad please! Sincerely, anything that comes to mind helps.
Also, I was wondering if you guys had any thoughts or advice on the following. I removed a sentence from the last paragraph that mentioned some awards I had gotten in highschool for community service. I agree that that was unnecessary, but I was hoping to somehow establish that this was something deeply engrained in me, and not some fleeting application tactic. I did not put it elsewhere in my application since it was prior to attending college.
Anyway, thanks again!!!
Hearing the admittance bell buzz, I peered through the bulletproof glass to see who was hoping to enter. Recognizing the faceless, hooded visitor as a male, I knew not to allow him to enter. Turning him away, I felt justified and empowered, though there was an underlying stream of guilt as well. As a front desk volunteer at a women’s shelter, one of my duties was to use my discretion on who to allow into our safe haven, and who to refuse, with the caveat that all men are to be turned away, aside from emergency responders. Although it was possible that this man was seeking out help and a warm meal as the women we accommodated were, it was also possible that he came to us trying to find a woman that did not wish to be found.
When I began volunteering at a domestic violence shelter for homeless women in Chicago, I was blissfully unaware of how prevalent domestic violence is amongst the homeless female population. All of the women seeking our help had been physically or sexually assaulted and were staying with us, as their only other options were to return to their abuser or to live on the streets. Fortunately, I have never experienced the agony these women have, but hearing their stories and assisting them in overcoming obstacles they face has changed me tremendously. Some of these women were able to become independent and get back on their feet, however, most women that came through our doors would be in and out of the shelter for varying periods of time, before disappearing for good. Though I hope that these women too got the help they needed, many ended up going to prison or perishing, usually due to a drug overdose.
Through these relationships, I began to see another side of life that I had not previously been exposed to. It caused me to realize that not everything is clear-cut and black or white. When I began at the shelter, I felt that there were only victims and offenders. I now realize that there are two sides to any issue, and between the two extremes is a wide spectrum of gray. The women coming to us for help as victims were at times being sought after as criminals. The multiple roles and issues facing these women gave me a deeper understanding of human nature and a new appreciation for the integrity and application of the law.
Today I pride myself on my ability to see all sides of a situation; a trait which I feel will assist me greatly in law school. This is furthered through being a political science major, as I learn about many policies and theories, and must argue for both the opposing and supporting sides on a regular basis. I am attending law school with a passion for public interest that I have had for as long as I can remember. With a law degree I would be able to continue my volunteering even further, as legal services are always needed for the shelter’s occupants.
Oh, and the final paragraph will be spent discussing why I want to attend their particular law school.