Personal statement

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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Personal statement

Postby cojsterling » Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:24 pm

Last edited by cojsterling on Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Personal Statement Please Critique thanks!

Postby ads222 » Tue Nov 30, 2010 12:00 am

cojsterling wrote: a sponsored dinner that rose over $700, and set up a rally corner at the Marine Corp Marathon to cheer on the runners.

my eyes are killing me, so I can't do a thorough read-through or anything, but I just wanted to point out that you raised (instead of rose) $700

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Re: Personal Statement Please Critique thanks!

Postby glitched » Tue Nov 30, 2010 2:10 am

it sounds like... you sat down and listed everything that you felt was good about you and wrote it down and then added a cheesy ending to it. lol. save that for the resume.

Stay focused on one thing - your thesis (what is it? I want to go to law school because I like helping people in general. and oh yeah I don't think it's about arguing and winning cases btw. it really doesn't sound like you're winning this one). You gotta stay focused instead of throwing yourself off the track. You need to pedal towards one idea and ultimately cross that finish line. Why don't you start by describing in detail the most rewarding part of that race - whether it is breathing hard and long over a hill, the moment the race started, or maybe hours after the race was over and you feasted on a delicious meal?

Just some cents of mine. Two of them to be exact.

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Re: Personal Statement Please Critique thanks!

Postby TommyK » Tue Nov 30, 2010 11:33 am

Remember, a law school PS shouldn't double as stories that you tell drunk girls at bars to seem sensitive so they will take you home. I think if you want to talk about this - you can talk about the determination you showed in training for it - and how that same determination, endurance and competitive spirit will help you succeed in law school.

You can also talk about your desire to help people. If you have a strong desire to help people with disabilities, you can rework this to talk about how it opened your eyes to an underserved population.

But right now, it just comes off as you wanting to get into the adcomm pants.

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