P.S. Option Two - Need TLS Wisdom

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ApolloniusCanon

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P.S. Option Two - Need TLS Wisdom

Postby ApolloniusCanon » Wed Nov 24, 2010 1:42 pm

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Last edited by ApolloniusCanon on Wed Dec 01, 2010 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

weejonbu

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Re: P.S. Option Two - Need TLS Wisdom

Postby weejonbu » Wed Nov 24, 2010 1:45 pm

A) Starting with a quote is EXTREMELY cliche

B) Reads too much like a resume

ApolloniusCanon

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Re: P.S. Option Two - Need TLS Wisdom

Postby ApolloniusCanon » Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:27 pm

TY, anyone else?

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ads222

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Re: P.S. Option Two - Need TLS Wisdom

Postby ads222 » Wed Nov 24, 2010 5:18 pm

I'd scrap the essay. Aside from starting with a quote and rehashing your resume, the essay jumps around a lot among a lot of mini-focuses, and they're (at best) tenuously linked by this idea of persistence...which kind of seems cliche too. I think you're best off starting again, maybe taking one single idea from this PS if you still feel some attachment to it, and re-working it into something cohesive and something new for the adcomms to learn about you.



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