Addendum Read - Submitting in a few hours

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glitched
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Addendum Read - Submitting in a few hours

Postby glitched » Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:33 am

Dear Sir or Madam:

In the chance that this may be of concern, I am writing to you to explain why I chose to change my grading option from a letter grade to pass-fail for all of my classes during the summer of my junior year.

During that summer, my grandmother passed away. She was fighting a battle against cancer for the past few years and eventually could not hold on. For those months, I flew home from San Francisco to Los Angeles once a week to help my parents and siblings through our difficult situation. It was difficult for me to keep up with my courses, and I decided that the best option I had was to change my grading option. In hindsight, I should have taken the summer off entirely to spend time with my family.

In case this may have been considered, I wanted to explain my reasons during that semester. Please let me know if you have any questions.

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Ratchet Jackson
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Re: Addendum Read - Submitting in a few hours

Postby Ratchet Jackson » Tue Nov 23, 2010 3:21 am

leeronalda wrote:Dear Sir or Madam:

In the chance that this may be of concern, I am writing to you to explain why I chose to change my grading option from a letter grade to pass-fail for all of my classes during the summer of my junior year.

During that summer, my grandmother passed away. She was fighting a battle against cancer for the past few years and eventually could not hold on. For those months, I flew home from San Francisco to Los Angeles once a week to help my parents and siblings through our difficult situation. It was difficult for me to keep up with my courses, and I decided that the best option I had was to change my grading option. In hindsight, I should have taken the summer off entirely to spend time with my family.

In case this may have been considered, I wanted to explain my reasons during that semester. Please let me know if you have any questions.


Short, sweet and to the point. I like this. Good reasoning, and I appreciate you being concise. Well done.

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Ratchet Jackson
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Re: Addendum Read - Submitting in a few hours

Postby Ratchet Jackson » Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:03 am

leeronalda wrote:Dear Sir or Madam:

In the chance that this may be of concern, I am writing to you to explain why I chose to change my grading option from a letter grade to pass-fail for all of my classes during the summer of my junior year.

During that summer, my grandmother passed away. She was fighting a battle against cancer for the past few years and eventually could not hold on. For those months, I flew home from San Francisco to Los Angeles once a week to help my parents and siblings through our difficult situation. It was difficult for me to keep up with my courses, and I decided that the best option I had was to change my grading option. In hindsight, I should have taken the summer off entirely to spend time with my family.

In case this may have been considered, I wanted to explain my reasons during that semester. Please let me know if you have any questions.


On a second read...you use the word 'option' twice and it is too close together: "...best option i had was to change my grading option" and you also use the word difficult really close together as well "...through our difficult situation. It was difficult..."

Just change up the words.

Sorry if it sounds tedious...thats just me though. Good luck.

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Gotti
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Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:46 pm

Re: Addendum Read - Submitting in a few hours

Postby Gotti » Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:30 am

RJ127 wrote:On a second read...you use the word 'option' twice and it is too close together: "...best option i had was to change my grading option" and you also use the word difficult really close together as well "...through our difficult situation. It was difficult..."

Just change up the words.


Agreed




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