Personal Statement Draft 2

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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Joined: Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:16 pm

Personal Statement Draft 2

Postby mcted » Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:11 pm

edited out :0
Last edited by mcted on Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Personal Statement Draft 2

Postby CanadianWolf » Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:16 pm

Consider deleting the final sentence.

Overall your essay is weak because it offers five unimpressive paragraphs to convey the simple idea that there are different perspectives on issues. My impression is that you used repetitive stories as space fillers because you do not have much else to offer the reader. This is not a good way to sell yourself to law school admissions officers. In short, this personal statement represents a wasted opportunity.

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Re: Personal Statement Draft 2

Postby peterb0y » Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:26 pm

Id rewrite- you spend three paragraphs telling a story that tells me nothing about YOU.

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Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 9:29 pm

Re: Personal Statement Draft 2

Postby slg123 » Sun Nov 21, 2010 1:52 pm

I really liked your original essay... I think you should go back to it!

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