(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
4 posts • Page 1 of 1
- Posts: 179
- Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:24 pm
I don't think this is lame, but I don't think it is wise either. All of the themes running through this could be included in something much, much shorter, which would leave you more space for talking about your later life development and substantive interests, which are probably going to do more to help your application. Working in "diversity" is a good idea, but structuring your whole statement around it seems like a waste. In any event, everything worth keeping for an essay (or an introduction if you intend this as a springboard for a personal narrative) could easily be included in 1 paragraph.
- Posts: 102
- Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2010 1:48 pm
First of all, I'm from Miami too, so I can appreciate this topic. However, I'd have to agree with the poster above, you should probably consolidate what you have now into one paragraph, and develop that into an essay about YOU, not an essay about Miami.
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