Addendum... Please critique!

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irenic

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Addendum... Please critique!

Postby irenic » Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:34 pm

Submitting app today for early decision. Please let me know if this addendum is alright. Thanks so much in advance for the help!

On August 26th, 2006 I was ticketed for a Minor In Possession of Alcohol as a senior in high school. Police officers discovered alcohol at a house I was at and gave each person a Minor in Possession of Alcohol for being on the property where the alcohol was located. I take full responsibility for breaking the law. I was granted deferred adjudication and successfully completed the community service and alcohol awareness classes as required. My actions that evening were an isolated incident and I have not had any non traffic law violations since. I am currently in the process of getting the offense expunged. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need more information about this matter.

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northwood

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Re: Addendum... Please critique!

Postby northwood » Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:46 pm

sounds good.

maybe edit the part about non traffic inciidents to something that flows better. It would work though.

irenic

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Re: Addendum... Please critique!

Postby irenic » Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:52 pm

Thanks, how about this in two sentences instead:

My actions that evening were an isolated incident. I have had no non traffic law violations since.

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northwood

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Re: Addendum... Please critique!

Postby northwood » Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:59 pm

i would keep the first and for the second say:

There have not been any other incidents since this isolated case.

or something like that



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