Updated, submitting tonight, have all day to fix. PLZ read.

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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kruiz88
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Updated, submitting tonight, have all day to fix. PLZ read.

Postby kruiz88 » Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:03 pm

Thanks everyone.
Last edited by kruiz88 on Tue Nov 16, 2010 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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kruiz88
Posts: 194
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Re: Updated, submitting tonight, have all day to fix. PLZ read.

Postby kruiz88 » Mon Nov 15, 2010 2:31 pm

It feels like hours have gone by since I posted my PS, it's only been 30 min. Going to be a long day.

sarahh
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Re: Updated, submitting tonight, have all day to fix. PLZ read.

Postby sarahh » Mon Nov 15, 2010 2:51 pm

I think that you focus too much on your grandfather. The personal statement is supposed to be about you. I would have one short paragraph describing your grandfather and how he was your inspiration and then talk about what you have done.

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kruiz88
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Re: Updated, submitting tonight, have all day to fix. PLZ read.

Postby kruiz88 » Mon Nov 15, 2010 4:51 pm

sarahh wrote:I think that you focus too much on your grandfather. The personal statement is supposed to be about you. I would have one short paragraph describing your grandfather and how he was your inspiration and then talk about what you have done.

Yeah, that seems to be my weakest point. I keep trying to edit it so that is is more me, but mostly to no avail. It doesn't flow when I remove or sub parts.

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kruiz88
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Re: Updated, submitting tonight, have all day to fix. PLZ read.

Postby kruiz88 » Mon Nov 15, 2010 6:53 pm

Guess I'm not going to be able to submit :( . I wish I would have done something worth writing about in my life.

TexasGE
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Re: Updated, submitting tonight, have all day to fix. PLZ read.

Postby TexasGE » Mon Nov 15, 2010 7:03 pm

We know about your grandfather's drive, his passion, his commitment. What about yours? How have you been successful? Will becoming a law student strengthen your dedication? Help to fulfill a lifetime goal? Perhaps elaborate more on your interaction with the teacher to bring more of YOUR personality out...

Good Luck!

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kruiz88
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Re: Updated, submitting tonight, have all day to fix. PLZ read.

Postby kruiz88 » Mon Nov 15, 2010 7:40 pm

TexasGE wrote:We know about your grandfather's drive, his passion, his commitment. What about yours? How have you been successful? Will becoming a law student strengthen your dedication? Help to fulfill a lifetime goal? Perhaps elaborate more on your interaction with the teacher to bring more of YOUR personality out...

Good Luck!

Great suggestion. I'm going to edit out some of my grandfather and try to better illustrate who I am. Thank you for responding!!!

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cmu
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Re: Updated, submitting tonight, have all day to fix. PLZ read.

Postby cmu » Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:09 am

remember, your PS is about you, not your grandfather. Try to focus more on yourself.




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