critique this sentence

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northwood
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critique this sentence

Postby northwood » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:36 pm

At the shop, I take a look around, as other employees go home for the day. “ We really made it,” I said to myself.” Look at how far we have come”. Working at >>>> company has provided me with the foundation necessary for law school . ( and the paragraph continues)

am i following the proper rules in regard to the quotation marks?

I wish i didnt sleep during this lesson in one of my english classes.

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lifestooquick
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Re: critique this sentence

Postby lifestooquick » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:45 pm

That beginning is rough to read. And, yes, those quotes are a little off. Try this:

As the other employees go home for the day, I take a look around the shop. “We really made it,” I say to myself, ”look at how far we have come”. Working at >>>> company has provided me with the foundation necessary for law school.

ETA: fixed verb agreement as well

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northwood
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Re: critique this sentence

Postby northwood » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:50 pm

you dont capitalize the L in look?

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lifestooquick
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Re: critique this sentence

Postby lifestooquick » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:51 pm

northwood wrote:you dont capitalize the L in look?

Nope, because it's technically the middle of your sentence. The sentence you are saying is, "We really made it, look at how far we have come." You wouldn't say, "We really made it, Look at how far we have come."

Another thought - you could probably say "look how far we have come" without the "at"
Last edited by lifestooquick on Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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s0ph1e2007
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Re: critique this sentence

Postby s0ph1e2007 » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:51 pm

northwood wrote:you dont capitalize the L in look?

no

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northwood
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Re: critique this sentence

Postby northwood » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:53 pm

thanks.

cheers!




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