171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

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chrisbru
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171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby chrisbru » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:59 pm

Hey TLSers,

I really want to get into my top two choice schools (Iowa and Minnesota) and I'm hoping my PS and my GPA addendum can make up for what I lack in my application. Would any of you be so kind as to give me some feedback on both of these? I don't have any friends who went to law school or anything to help me. Feel free to rip me apart as much as you would like, so long as it will help me in the long run.

Thank you all so much!

No Business Like Show Business

One of my biggest strengths is commitment to the things that I am passionate about. These passions have ranged from schoolwork, to service projects, baseball, coaching Special Olympics, and spending high school summers lifeguarding full-time. The lessons I’ve learned and experience I’ve gained from my biggest passion, music, has influenced who I am and given me the attributes to be successful in both law school and my subsequent career.

Music became a part of my life early on. Starting with pre-school sing-a-longs, my interest progressed into elementary school where I loved to participate in school music performances. These experiences began to instill in me a confidence and familiarity with being in front of a large group of people, as well as influencing me to learn to play an instrument. Learning to play piano and guitar taught me that I have to devote time and energy in order to acquire a skill. Having a piano instructor helped point me in the right direction, but I learned that I needed to keep myself motivated and continue practicing on my own if I was going to continue improving. I set practice schedules for myself, as well as goal timelines, both skills that helped me teach myself guitar and do well in school and extra-curricular activities.

I started my first band in high school, brainstormed a list of songs that we knew would be popular with our classmates, and sought out opportunities to play. Our first gig was at a homecoming pep rally, which was an amazing experience. This encouraged us to begin writing songs and performing at other venues. In order to do this, I had to learn how to communicate effectively with venue owners as well as negotiate terms for set length, cost of admission, and compensation for our band. As we picked up steam, I helped our group successfully record a demo CD and create T-shirts and other merchandise that we sold at our shows.

I wanted to continue playing in college, so I worked out a plan to form a band, including a vision of what type of music to play, what audiences to target, and what other members I would have to recruit in order to accomplish my goals. Over the next few months I recruited the necessary members and set up a regular practice schedule for the band. As we developed, I assumed the roles of manager, treasurer, and agent. My first duties were to open up an account to manage our income and expenses and to book our group at some music venues in town. I spoke with the managers at two establishments where I had heard new bands often get their start, negotiated a contract, and started promoting. It was clear that we were picking up steam after our first few shows.

My next goal was to expand our market. After analyzing the current market, I realized there were opportunities available. In order to capitalize on them, however, we would have to purchase our own sound system. Once the purchase was complete, I began negotiating with bars, fraternities, sororities, and campus groups who were in the market for live entertainment. This strategy allowed us to compete with the near-exclusivity that Disc Jockeys enjoyed in college-focused entertainment. Over the course of the band’s run, I propelled our group from playing small venues of 20 or 30 people to playing in places that seated up to 1,000. We progressed into playing for charity events, social events, high school reunions, and at casinos.

My favorite part of being in the group was what I learned. I gained experience communicating with a wide variety of people, including bar owners, casino events coordinators, non-profit organizations, and student leaders. I also learned how to negotiate contracts that were beneficial and acceptable to both parties involved. Finally, being on stage and selling our group to many different venues and organizations has given me the confidence, tenacity, and reasoning ability that will drive my success in law school and career as an attorney.

Music has been a big part of my life since I was in the beginning years of school. Music will continue to be a passion of mine as I progress into law school and my professional career, and I am excited to utilize my experiences and skills that I have learned to be successful in both.

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Addendum *Edited per suggestion: Thanks you to gambelda*
I am writing not to make excuses or ask for sympathy, but rather to offer an explanation of my fourth, fifth, and sixth semester grades. During fall semester of my junior year, my mother was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Starting that semester and continuing into the following summer she underwent aggressive chemotherapy followed by radiation. In addition to my schoolwork and part-time employment, I spent much of my free time visiting her in the hospital and helping out with my family.

Her health issues continued into the fall semester of senior year, when she contracted the H1N1 virus due to a weakened immune system. This disease kept her in intensive care for four weeks, followed by six additional weeks of hospitalization. Throughout this experience I tried to be a support to my dad and brother, and was still able to graduate in seven semesters. These circumstances contributed to my low GPA of 2.4, 2.59, and 2.67 during my fourth, fifth, and sixth semesters respectively. I believe that an overall 3.3 GPA during my other four semesters more accurately reflects my academic abilities. I would welcome the opportunity to visit with you about these situations and provide additional documentation for your consideration.
Last edited by chrisbru on Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

gambelda
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby gambelda » Wed Nov 03, 2010 1:19 pm

chrisbru wrote:

Addendum

Upon returning to school in the fall of my junior year, it was very difficult for me to transition back into the undergrad mindset after being in the work force for seven months.


In terms of content, I'm fine with everything in your addendum except for this. Get rid of it. It nothing more than an excuse that is WITHIN your control. Does everyone who has a job and then goes back to school suddenly suck at school? Certainly not, or half the law school enrollees would be doing pretty poorly.

The rest of your addendum attributes your poor academic performance to events that were OUTSIDE your control but nonetheless impacted you greatly. These are the things you should focus on exclusively

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chrisbru
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby chrisbru » Wed Nov 03, 2010 1:35 pm

Great point, thank you so much.

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chrisbru
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby chrisbru » Wed Nov 03, 2010 3:13 pm

Can anyone help with the PS? I really want to get applications out tomorrow or Friday.

Also, any advice as to how I can incorporate a section on why I want to go to the schools I'm applying to into it, without it seeming awkward?

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aquasalad
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby aquasalad » Fri Dec 03, 2010 2:32 pm

Dude I'm writing on the same exact thing! Once I finish mine up, I'll post it here.
Best of luck.

maddox86
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby maddox86 » Fri Dec 03, 2010 8:46 pm

Don't submit a PS with a title.

stheskier
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby stheskier » Fri Dec 03, 2010 8:50 pm

Your PS sounds like a listed resume kind of...I'm just sayin.

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chrisbru
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby chrisbru » Sun Dec 05, 2010 4:22 am

stheskier wrote:Your PS sounds like a listed resume kind of...I'm just sayin.



I think it did just fine. No rejections yet, and acceptance to my #2 school. If I get rejected from my #1, then you can say I told you so.
Last edited by chrisbru on Mon Dec 06, 2010 2:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

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ShuckingNotJiving
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby ShuckingNotJiving » Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:13 pm

chrisbru wrote:
stheskier wrote:Your PS sounds like a listed resume kind of...I'm just sayin.



I think it did just fine. No rejections yet, and acceptance to my #2 school. If I get rejected from my #1, then you can say I told you so.

Enjoy tulane...


why did you ask for help if you think your PS "did just fine?" I don't think this reads like a resume but it lacks a bit of maturity. "my favorite part about being in a band was what I learned," for example, reads like the product of a middle-school writing assignment. tbh, I don't think it was your PS that got you into your #2 choice.

The addendum, however, is very well done.

dissonance1848
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby dissonance1848 » Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:19 pm

Midwestern schools are nothing if not LSAT whores. WUSTL, Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Indiana, 1 of those will bite for sure on that LSAT. Hell, Gtown ED might bite on it. Relax.

CanadianWolf
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby CanadianWolf » Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:23 pm

Your personal statement is very poorly written & might harm your law school applications if it comes into play.

CONSIDER deleting the last sentence of your addendum.

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chrisbru
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Re: 171 LSAT/2.94 GPA... Please help with PS and Addendum!

Postby chrisbru » Mon Dec 06, 2010 2:31 am

ShuckingNotJiving wrote:
why did you ask for help if you think your PS "did just fine?" I don't think this reads like a resume but it lacks a bit of maturity. "my favorite part about being in a band was what I learned," for example, reads like the product of a middle-school writing assignment. tbh, I don't think it was your PS that got you into your #2 choice.

The addendum, however, is very well done.


I asked for help when I was writing it. It has been revised several times since this post, and all my applications are already submitted. I thanked everyone for the prompt help when it came, and am not sure why this post was resurrected after almost a month.




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