help with one sentence!! Forum

[csoloski]

Is this sentence okay grammatically?
My desire to become a lawyer, though nursed through my relationship with my father, helped me to see that I had to create an image of myself that was different from that of my father’s in order to pursue my goal.

[Eugenie Danglars]

The grammar is ok.

Would you like opinions on other areas?

[csoloski]

yes

[Eugenie Danglars]

Semantically, the sentence is hard to follow. It's technically correct, but I had to read it twice slowly to get the meaning. Try breaking it into two sentences

[cinephile]

My desire to become a lawyer, though nursed through my relationship with my father, helped me to see that I had to create an image of myself that was different from that of my father’s an independent self-imagein order to pursue my goal.

How about something like that? It'd be less wordy.