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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
WhirledWorld
Posts: 331
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:04 am

Re: Please help critique my Yale 250 and Yale PS

Postby WhirledWorld » Thu Nov 04, 2010 12:19 pm

Bumping for the updated 250 at the top.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Please help critique my Yale 250 and Yale PS

Postby CanadianWolf » Thu Nov 04, 2010 12:27 pm

Several years ago I read a high school student's college essay on the same topic of yodeling. It was done very well. Your yodeling essay is interesting in the respect that it compares group singing to the composition of a diverse law school class creating group strength. This is a well done essay that should land on friendly eyes at a capella-happy Yale (Whiffenpoofs).

heyguys
Posts: 285
Joined: Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:57 pm

Re: Please help critique my Yale 250 and Yale PS

Postby heyguys » Thu Nov 04, 2010 6:56 pm

again, I like the yodeling theme. This time, I think that the take away at the end comes across as banal.

And again, on the PS--just nix the whole thing and start over, assuming the one on the first post to be the one that you're going with.




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