Revamped PS - Second Draft - Please Offer Input!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
ATR
Posts: 1119
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:18 pm

Revamped PS - Second Draft - Please Offer Input!

Postby ATR » Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:04 pm

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Last edited by ATR on Fri Jun 24, 2011 9:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sandro
Posts: 2526
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2009 12:12 am

Re: Revamped PS - Second Draft - Please Offer Input!

Postby Sandro » Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:23 pm

I like your writing style. I'm going to steal it. It doesnt have "I want to go to law school because XXXX" at the end of beginning so I like that part too.

ATR
Posts: 1119
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:18 pm

Re: Revamped PS - Second Draft - Please Offer Input!

Postby ATR » Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:40 pm

Sandro777 wrote:I like your writing style. I'm going to steal it. It doesnt have "I want to go to law school because XXXX" at the end of beginning so I like that part too.

Thanks, I appreciate the compliments.

Sandro
Posts: 2526
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2009 12:12 am

Re: Revamped PS - Second Draft - Please Offer Input!

Postby Sandro » Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:36 am

Do you have any tips for translating things that occurred at work into something that isnt boring as hell to read?

ATR
Posts: 1119
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:18 pm

Re: Revamped PS - Second Draft - Please Offer Input!

Postby ATR » Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:45 am

Sandro777 wrote:Do you have any tips for translating things that occurred at work into something that isnt boring as hell to read?

Well, this was my third try at a statement. I concentrated using active verbs, being descriptive (but not overly so), and adding my own personal thoughts to break the monotony of excessive story-telling. Just keep working at it. I'd also suggest going to your school's writing center, if you're enrolled. It really helped me.

ATR
Posts: 1119
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:18 pm

Re: Revamped PS - Second Draft - Please Offer Input!

Postby ATR » Tue Oct 26, 2010 3:15 pm

Bumping... I would appreciate any input; I'm hoping to start sending off applications in the next week.




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