not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

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curly3426
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not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 8:47 pm

not done, just wrote it up rough... going to end with a bit of family history and how this duality between art and science has existed


Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
Albert Einstein

Gripping onto a railing outside Robsham Theatre for dear life, I placed the seat of the unicycle firmly between my legs. I kept repeating to myself, “the goal is to lean forward, the exact opposite of what your mind tells you to do”. I pushed hard on one pedal and let go. Half expecting to be face down on the pavement, I found myself awkwardly scooting about, to the amusement of many students walking to class. After thirty seconds or so, and countless off colored comments from fellow students, and at least two theatre professors, I threw the red juggling balls up in the air. Still holding on to the blue and yellow ball, I was at first relieved I was able to catch the red ball without breaking my neck, and then terrified at the thought of now throwing the other two up. It took nearly six weeks, hundreds of bruises, three new pedals, and what seems to be a permanent bump on the back of head, but I finally was able to juggle while on a unicycle. Bozo, the Cirque Du Soleil representative seemed hardly impressed and was ready to move on to stilt walking, a task which would only add to my numerous injuries. As I jumped off the unicycle, grinning from ear to ear, Bozo grabbed me by the shoulder and said, “Good. Now give me a reason for why you are on the unicycle juggling.” A reason? After finally perfectly balancing on one wheel, throwing three different colored balls into the air, Bozo wanted a logical reason for my illogical actions.
One might ask, what a Cirque Du Soleil trained clown and professional actor/singer is thinking applying to law school? The hours spent researching roles and perfecting accents, the hundreds of auditions, the hours in mirrored rehearsal rooms on 42nd street making sure the dance looked flawless, seem to be of a different world than logical thinking, law books, court rooms, and cubicles. But instead if it were not for my experiences on stage, I would have never found myself applying to law school and delighting in practicing my logical games. What seems to be a passion that would provide no practical use in law, I find has not only best prepared me for my future in law school, but will directly affect my success as a law student and then as a lawyer.
As an actor I was always asked to find a logical reason for what I was doing on stage, whether it was an emotional outburst, or a simple movement of furniture. Whether in a theatre or in legal proceedings, the actor/lawyer lay out a logical foundation for his actions and words. If this is not done, he loses the audience and he loses the case. In one of the shows where I was on the unicycle, I was asked to sing a song while cycling and juggling across the stage. This was put into the show so that an actor could slip off stage without the audience noticing, but as Bozo requested of me, I needed a reason for my actions. So every night I pointed to a beautiful girl in the front row and said, “this my dear is for you.” I cycled across the stage, singing, and juggling getting the audience to laugh and the actor safely off stage. While my theatric endeavors on the outside were done for the love of art, they were always firmly rooted on a logical foundation. Like a lawyer an actor is given a set of circumstances and is required to find a logical way to a desired result. My passions lie within this quest.

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thementor31337
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby thementor31337 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:02 pm

I like that your statement is very different from the many that I have read on this forum because it doesn't deal with traditional work/school experience. I understand your comparison between actors and lawyers because I know what you're trying to say, but I think it might be shaky territory to draw that comparison. When thinking about actors, the thought of imitation comes to mind. Actors are trying to imitate feelings/actions written by a writer. I don't know if maybe the adcomm could think that you're undervaluing the work of lawyers. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Also, you mention that you wouldn't think your passion would serve any purpose when it comes to practicing law, but I'd have to disagree. The fact that you can perform various, and sometimes embarrassing tasks, in front of large groups of people would be a tremendous asset, especially for someone considering an area of law that requires a lot of courtroom appearances or other public speaking.

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:08 pm

thanks for the reply... I totally agree about the public speaking - I just wanted to avoid that comparison

I am not trying to compare being an actor is the same as being a lawyer, but instead the research required for the roles, the need to apply logic in your performance, and how it prepared me for taking given circumstances and trying to work them to a logical conclusion would help me in school

maybe be clearer with that?

edubs003
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby edubs003 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:11 pm

Don't start with a quote. Other than that, it's pretty good. There are some grammatical errors but you did say it's a rough draft.

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:14 pm

ya I apologize for the grammatical errors...

can i ask why not with the quote?

can I end with it?

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thementor31337
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby thementor31337 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:15 pm

curly3426 wrote:thanks for the reply... I totally agree about the public speaking - I just wanted to avoid that comparison

I am not trying to compare being an actor is the same as being a lawyer, but instead the research required for the roles, the need to apply logic in your performance, and how it prepared me for taking given circumstances and trying to work them to a logical conclusion would help me in school

maybe be clearer with that?


I defintely think being clearer with your description of the logic applied to acting/performing would help tremendously. Even elaborating on the concept with additional sentences or even a paragraph would be helpful. We obviously know that eveyone on the adcomm is going to be familiar with the logical abilities of lawyers, but maybe not so much with actors/performers. I'm sure there's a misconception that actors/performers are airy, artsy, possibly even impulsive people, and live in a world where logic doesn't apply, but disproving that misconception with your personal experience, I think would be a great addition to the statement.

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:16 pm

maybe that can be my next paragraph... thanks again!

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:40 pm

any other thoughts? open to anything, especially from people who have already applied and are in law school

edubs003
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby edubs003 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:46 pm

curly3426 wrote:ya I apologize for the grammatical errors...

can i ask why not with the quote?

can I end with it?


A quote is nice and all but people have used them before. It would be better in your statement somewhere, if it fits. I've just heard that it's bad to start with a quote by someone famous and who knows how many people have used this quote. You don't want the adcom starting your statement and thinking "here we go again." Seriously, does the quote convey anything that your statement doesn't already cover?

In my statement, I wrote something like: "My grandpa told me the choices we make decide our future." (It's not this but something like it). The quote is better if it's personal or from someone you know. You can still put the quote in there but I wouldn't start with it. Something like,

Albert Einstein once said, "Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." As an actor I was always asked to find a logical reason for what I was doing on stage, whether it was an emotional outburst, or a simple movement of furniture. (This is the imagination part!) If it were not for my experiences on stage, I would have never found myself applying to law school. (This is the logical part.)

If you're going to use the quote, you have to show both logic and imagination.

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:49 pm

thanks, that is really helpful!

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thementor31337
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby thementor31337 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:50 pm

edubs003 wrote:Don't start with a quote. Other than that, it's pretty good. There are some grammatical errors but you did say it's a rough draft.


I think you could start with the quote if you put it into an opening sentence(s) instead of separating from the statement. For example, "Albert Einstein once said that "Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everwhere." The truthfulnes of this statement became clear to me when I, gripping onto a railing outside Robsham Theatre for dear life, placed the seat of the unicycle firmly between my legs and I kept repeating to myself, “the goal is to lean forward, the exact opposite of what your mind tells you to do”."

I think this way you can incorporate the quote and use it to show that the path of least resistance (from A to B) is not always the best or most interesting path.

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goodmank
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby goodmank » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:50 pm

From eduers.com

"In 2003, Janet Hein, Assistant Dean of Admissions at the University of Dayton School of Law, surveyed her admissions colleagues to find out, among other things, some of their pet peeves regarding personal statements. These included:

Do not base your personal statement on a quote from Emerson, Shakespeare, Thomas Jefferson, or anyone else for that matter. It's an over-used device."

Hope this helps

edubs003
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby edubs003 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:52 pm

thementor31337 wrote:
edubs003 wrote:Don't start with a quote. Other than that, it's pretty good. There are some grammatical errors but you did say it's a rough draft.


I think you could start with the quote if you put it into an opening sentence(s) instead of separating from the statement. For example, "Albert Einstein once said that "Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everwhere." The truthfulnes of this statement became clear to me when I, gripping onto a railing outside Robsham Theatre for dear life, placed the seat of the unicycle firmly between my legs and I kept repeating to myself, “the goal is to lean forward, the exact opposite of what your mind tells you to do”."

I think this way you can incorporate the quote and use it to show that the path of least resistance (from A to B) is not always the best or most interesting path.


This is pretty good but you really don't need to start with a quote. Seriously, your personal statement should rock if this is true.

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:53 pm

ya i guess the quote isn't really necessary in the essay at all - did u have any other suggestions on the essay?

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thementor31337
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby thementor31337 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:53 pm

curly3426 wrote:maybe that can be my next paragraph... thanks again!


Also, if you wouldn't mind taking a look at my PS, I've only gotten one response and I was hoping for a little bit more input. Thanks in advance!

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:55 pm

of course!

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:18 am

anyone else out there want to give an opinion?

sarahlawg
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby sarahlawg » Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:50 am

Interesting PS.
A couple things for me:
This line, "One might ask, what a Cirque Du Soleil trained clown and professional actor/singer is thinking applying to law school?" should read, "One might ask, "what is a Cirque Du Soleil trained clown and professional actor/singer thinking applying to law school?" or "One might ask what a Cirque Du Soleil trained clown and professional actor/singer is thinking applying to law school."
and to the content of that line, I think you do a good job telling us how the skills are translatable, but I am left asking why you're leaving the clown/acting business for law school. You talk about how much logic being an actor requires, and that it's your passion, so why are you leaving? How will law school/being a lawyer be more satisfying?
>But instead if it were not for my experiences on stage, I would have never found myself applying to law school and delighting in practicing my logical games.< again, this line makes me think...which experiences on stage made him want to apply to law school?

I know every essay does not have to be a Why Law essay, but since you emphasize how much being an actor/clown led you straight to law school, I feel like you already made it a Why Law, so now it just needs to be a stronger one.

I hope this helps. I definitely think it's a memorable topic.

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:51 am

thanks sarah! I hope to finish off answering that exact question!

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:53 am

but basically to answer your question... I found that the art itself wasn't what thrilled me any more, it was the pursuit of putting together logical performances that drew me closer... I found myself getting into political debates while off stage

curly3426
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Re: not finished rough draft... would love people's thoughts

Postby curly3426 » Sun Oct 24, 2010 11:41 am

a ROUGH finishing of this essay.... what do you all think?


Gripping onto a railing outside Robsham Theatre for dear life, I placed the seat of the unicycle firmly between my legs. I kept repeating to myself, “the goal is to lean forward, the exact opposite of what your mind tells you to do”. I pushed hard on one pedal and let go. Half expecting to be face down on the pavement, I found myself awkwardly scooting about, to the amusement of many students walking to class. After thirty seconds or so, and countless off colored comments from fellow students, and at least two theatre professors, I threw the red juggling balls up in the air. Still holding on to the blue and yellow ball, I was at first relieved I was able to catch the red ball without breaking my neck, and then terrified at the thought of now throwing the other two up. It took nearly six weeks, hundreds of bruises, three new pedals, and what seems to be a permanent bump on the back of head, but I finally was able to juggle while on a unicycle. Bozo, the Cirque Du Soleil representative seemed hardly impressed and was ready to move on to stilt walking, a task which would only add to my numerous injuries. As I jumped off the unicycle, grinning from ear to ear, Bozo grabbed me by the shoulder and said, “Good. Now give me a reason for why you are on the unicycle juggling.” A reason? After finally perfectly balancing on one wheel, throwing three different colored balls into the air, Bozo wanted a logical reason for my illogical actions.
One might ask, “what is a Cirque Du Soleil trained clown and professional actor/singer is thinking applying to law school?” The hours spent researching roles and perfecting accents, the hundreds of auditions, the hours in mirrored rehearsal rooms on 42nd street making sure the dance looked flawless, seem to be of a different world than logical thinking, law books, court rooms, and cubicles. But instead if it were not for my experiences on stage, I would have never found myself applying to law school and delighting in practicing my logical games. What seems to be a passion that would provide no practical use in law, I find has not only best prepared me for my future in law school, but will directly affect my success as a law student and then as a lawyer.
As an actor I was always asked to find a logical reason for what I was doing on stage, whether it was an emotional outburst, or a simple movement of furniture. Whether in a theatre or in legal proceedings, the actor/lawyer lay out a logical foundation for his actions and words. If this is not done, he loses the audience and he loses the case. In one of the shows where I was on the unicycle, I was asked to sing a song while cycling and juggling across the stage. This was put into the show so that an actor could slip off stage without the audience noticing, but as Bozo requested of me, I needed a reason for my actions. I spent hours in the library studying Comedia Del Arte books and learning about the type of clown I was portraying; I remember one night at around 2 a.m. I found a French love song that this particular clown (Pierrot) was known to sing. So every night I pointed to a beautiful girl in the front row and said, “this my dear is for you.” I cycled across the stage, singing, and juggling getting the audience to laugh and the actor safely off stage. While my theatric endeavors on the outside were done for the love of the art, they were always firmly rooted on a logical foundation. Like a lawyer an actor is given a set of circumstances and is required to find a logical way to a desired result. My passions lie within this quest.
So, why the change? If both careers provide for the same sort of logical journey, why put one aside for the other? When I graduated college I had already worked professionally in 7 shows, while doing 10 more in college. I moved to New York, wide eyed and ready to conquer Broadway. Within months I had been cast at two of the largest theatres in the country, and was working with my idols, whose recordings I have on repeat on my IPod. I signed with an agent, and was getting called in for Broadway shows, yet though my dream was coming true, I found myself unfulfilled. During 1776 (a show about the signing of the declaration of independence) at Papermill Theatre in New Jersey, I was often asked to move furniture and sit and watch the show on stage for long periods of time. Hours were spent researching what my character’s history was, why he might be moving certain furniture, or remaining to listen to heated debate. I came into the first rehearsal with a list of ideas and research, to only be handed a packet with it all done for me. We had two weeks to put up a Broadway caliber show, the quest was already conquered, it was now our talents and ability to do what we were told that would make this a great show. The business of show business had made me become good at being what the producers needed, and doing what the director told me, not relying on my abilities to apply logic in the imaginary setting. They wanted convincing emotion, beautiful voices, and incredible dancers. What drove the actors around me was not what drove me into this career. This isn’t to degrade professional actors, I respect and admire their love for art for arts sake, their patience for doing what they are told and only that, their ability to be what the producers need, but it wasn’t fulfilling me.
So, here I am, with Bozo ringing in my ear, “give me a reason.” During college I balanced rehearsals with courses in symbolic logic, in ethics, in Aristotle, in rhetoric. My passion for logic and law was always shadowed by my success on stage. Like my grandfather, Cesare Lombroso, who vows it was his poetry that brought him to the field of neurology, my art brought me here. Or my great uncle, Bruno Rossi, a famous Italian physicist, who painted during the Manhattan project to keep himself sane, my art kept me balanced. So Bozo convinced me to jump on the unicycle, at first so that I may make it across the stage, but now I find it has taken me further. I stand here ready for law school not because of the lawyers I have worked for, or the logic books I’ve read, but because I pushed hard on the pedal and unicycled.




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