PS Topic Analysis

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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thementor31337
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2010 1:35 pm

PS Topic Analysis

Postby thementor31337 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:41 am

I haven't started writing my PS yet, but I'm throwing around some topics and could use some advice as to their viability. Any insight would be appreciated. I'm looking to ED to GULC, apply to GW, George Mason, American, Columbus (safety). My profile/stats are as follows:
28 y/o female, non-traditional student
Associates in Computer Science from local (NJ) community college
Undergrad in Comp Info Systems concentration in Homeland Security
Interested in homeland security/national security law programs
Active duty US Marine stationed at MCB Quantico, VA
3.53 LSDAS GPA (2.968 community college GPA/4.0 university GPA)
Summa Cum Laude graduate from Strayer University
Selected as valedictorian of graduating class 2010
Pending LSAT score from October test
Worked as a successful insurance agent in New Jersey (home) for 8 years before joining USMC
Lived on my own since 19, went to school and managed full time job
Several military awards while on active duty

My ideas for the personal statement(s) that I plan on submitting are somewhat varied but I figured using my military career and some of the things I've learned while serving would be a good basis.

- Connection between Law and Order and powerfu and smart women (I've always been a die-hard fan and my mother used to always say that I should be a lawyer because I liked L&O)
- Dad inspired work ethic (my father became an extremely successful small business owner despite no college eduation
and barely graduating HS due to an extreme work ethic)
- "You generally don't do what you like, you do what you know." (Quote from my dad that inspired me to try and find what I like, instead of getting stuck in the rut of "what I know.")
- Interest in national security/homeland security due to military/undergrad studies
- Surviving emotionally abusive relationship(s) (2 different guys, total of 7 yrs, struggle to realize that I deserve as much success in my personal life as I work for in professional life)
- Success in multiple careers and leadership successes
- Non-traditional student balancing responsibilities successfully
- Inspirational military figure commits suicide, inspires leadership and greatness (Sgt I worked with and who promoted me to NCO rank committed suicide in January of this year, inspiring me to lead my military section to pass a Marine Corps audit with a 98.6% effectiveness rating.

Again I appreciate any input on my possible topics.

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plenipotentiary
Posts: 616
Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:13 pm

Re: PS Topic Analysis

Postby plenipotentiary » Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:39 am

thementor31337 wrote:Connection between Law and Order and powerfu and smart women (I've always been a die-hard fan and my mother used to always say that I should be a lawyer because I liked L&O)


I really hope you're kidding.

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thementor31337
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2010 1:35 pm

Re: PS Topic Analysis

Postby thementor31337 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:00 pm

plenipotentiary wrote:
thementor31337 wrote:Connection between Law and Order and powerfu and smart women (I've always been a die-hard fan and my mother used to always say that I should be a lawyer because I liked L&O)


I really hope you're kidding.


I understand it sounds stupid and cliche, but there have been a few articles out there over the years that describe women who hold powerful career positions and their love for L&O reruns. I guess I should have embelished a little bit in the above, as I'm not suggesting that I'm going to write my PS on the fact that my mom thought I should be a lawyer, but more to the point that over the years I have become one of those powerful, smart women described in the articles and L&O viewership is a common ground. I came up with the following intro paragraph below based on the topic, maybe this will help to explain better:

In 2002, I was twenty years old and four years into an eight year career in insurance sales and service at a small family owned independent insurance agency in my hometown in New Jersey. During my lunch hour I often browsed the internet and came across an article by Michael Kinsley that attempted to explain his wife’s unnatural addiction to Law and Orders episodes in syndication. I was naturally attracted as I have always been a Law and Order fan ever since I was a young teenager. Both of my parents were avid watchers as well, which formed my attraction to the series. The article sucked me in immediately and described how Kinsley’s wife, who he described as a “formidable, intelligent woman with an important and challenging job and a full private life,” would often, if not exclusively, watch Law and Order reruns on television as a sole source of entertainment. At the time I did not see the connection, but over time, it became clear to me. Throughout my adult life, I have had two successful careers, one being as an active duty United States Marine, graduated from college, and maintained an active personal life, yet the one thing that remained constant was my captivation by syndicated Law and Order episodes. Had I become the formidable, intelligent woman with an important and challenging job that Kinsley describes in his article?

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crysmissmichelle
Posts: 399
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:39 am

Re: PS Topic Analysis

Postby crysmissmichelle » Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:41 pm

Don't do the "Law and Order" one. Otherwise it sounds like you have a lot to draw from.

justadude55
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Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:23 am

Re: PS Topic Analysis

Postby justadude55 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:47 pm

Don't do the relationships one.

A.) What is emotionally abusive? What you call emotionally abusive might not be seen that way by the majority.
B.) Don't talk about your sex life. Honestly, this is so overwhelmingly unprofessional.

I think the last one is the best. It shows most of the skills law school adcoms value. The fact you claim to have been "emotionally abused" does not mean you will be a good law student. In fact, it suggests the opposite.

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thementor31337
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2010 1:35 pm

Re: PS Topic Analysis

Postby thementor31337 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 1:32 pm

justadude55 wrote:Don't do the relationships one.

A.) What is emotionally abusive? What you call emotionally abusive might not be seen that way by the majority.
B.) Don't talk about your sex life. Honestly, this is so overwhelmingly unprofessional.

I think the last one is the best. It shows most of the skills law school adcoms value. The fact you claim to have been "emotionally abused" does not mean you will be a good law student. In fact, it suggests the opposite.


Thanks for the input. I had been reading around, and I know the relationship stuff is risky, but I figured if you could show triumph and strength to get out of those situations and succeed, it would be less risky. After the negative feedback received on the L&O idea, I was narrowing it down to the work ethic my dad showed throughout his adult life and how I've modeled my work ethic after it or the suicide of my Sgt, which really hit me hard, as it was my first friend/co-worker that was definitely a suicide and not some vague could-be suicide (single-car accidents, drug overdoses, etc).

mala2
Posts: 225
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 4:39 am

Re: PS Topic Analysis

Postby mala2 » Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:07 pm

I'm sort of similar to you. I'm 28, just got out the the army.

1-Don't do L&O
2-Don't do the abuse one, makes you sound like a whiney girl
3-I think the last one might be the best because it's recent and shows your leadership skills in an adult way, you could weave some moral from the dad themed one in there too




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