Beginning of PS

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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Beginning of PS

Postby StillHerexxx » Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:55 pm

Here is the beginning of my PS, rest is in the making. Please let me know if this seems interesting enough to follow through on:

It all began in a dank and crumbling garage during the frigid winter of 2003. Everyone was drinking alcohol for Joey's birthday. As I sat there shivering, I knew this wasn't what I wanted. When my friend Fuller cracked a beer open in my face, I said no. His response: "I got your brother to drink by hitting him until he would". I clenched my small freshman frame in preperation for the beating the 6'5 350 pound senior was about to give me.

I have never drank alcohol, smoked a cigarrette, or consumed any drugs. This is known as a straight edge lifestyle. It has almost been 8 years since I chose to follow this path, and it all began on that faithful winter day...

Being its my PS, I like it, but some outside opinions would be amazing. Its a story I never tall anyone, except those that witnessed it because its embarrassing, but it has shaped me in a lot of ways. I want to work perceptions by others into the rest of it and how I never caved into other peoples' criticism or anything like that. To show the whole determination and commitment thing.

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Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Beginning of PS

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:58 pm

It could be interesting--especially if the 6'5", 350lbs. senior ends up being your first client or a federal judge--but we really need to see a full draft.

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