Any help would be great. anything i should add / take out?
(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
3 posts • Page 1 of 1
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Last edited by egeffin on Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Not good. Too many inappropriate word choices surrounded by a poorly thought out topic. The introductory & conclusory paragraphs are terrible, yet, they may be your best two paragraphs.
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- Joined: Tue May 11, 2010 12:28 pm
I agree. It is extremely impersonal.
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