PS: Please critique

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PS: Please critique

Postby applepiecrust » Sun Oct 17, 2010 11:24 am

Paranoia strikes again. PM me.
Last edited by applepiecrust on Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 10:30 pm

Re: PS: Please critique

Postby TonyBender » Sun Oct 17, 2010 9:01 pm

the continuous compare and contrast that you do between India and America is hard to follow.
Also, it seems that there are several sub-themes within your essay, while it may be stronger to just focus on one. For example you discuss the cultural limitation of India (clothing), family expectations (finding a spouse), acceptance of different sexual preferences, acceptance of foreigners, changes in speech, etc. Think about which of these themes has been most important in shaping you as a person and develop that one idea. It just feels too scattered right now.

Please critique my PS lower on the thread. Just look for my name. Thanks!!!

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