Diversity Statement Semi-Final Version

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
pennywise
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:21 am

Diversity Statement Semi-Final Version

Postby pennywise » Sat Oct 16, 2010 1:56 am

please take a look at my PS
Last edited by pennywise on Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

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CGI Fridays
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Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:46 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Semi-Final Version

Postby CGI Fridays » Sat Oct 16, 2010 2:13 pm

With Cambria, size 12 font @ standard margins & double-spaced, this is 4 FULL pages.

Cut it down sooo sooo much & repost.

pennywise
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:21 am

Re: Diversity Statement Semi-Final Version

Postby pennywise » Sat Oct 16, 2010 9:40 pm

I see, its around 1150 words, its not very long. I don't know about the word cap for the average American law school, but Canadian ones are alright with 1000~ words or so.

By the way, is this it? Just one guy about length? lol.

I take it as a good outcome.

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CGI Fridays
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Re: Diversity Statement Semi-Final Version

Postby CGI Fridays » Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:32 am

pennywise wrote: I see, its around 1150 words, its not very long. I don't know about the word cap for the average American law school, but Canadian ones are alright with 1000~ words or so.


This is very, very long for an American law school. There are approximately a bajillion more JD applicants in America but only 42 times as many schools, and the average American applies to 7.4 times more schools than the Average Canadian. All things considered, the average American law school Adcomm reads 27.6 times more documents during any given cycle than the average Canadian Adcomm.

If you're confident in your length for Canadian schools, I highly recommend trimming down an alternate version for the US.


pennywise wrote:By the way, is this it? Just one guy about length? lol.

I take it as a good outcome.

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ArchRoark
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Re: Diversity Statement Semi-Final Version

Postby ArchRoark » Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:35 am

1 page double spaced is standard length for a DS, I agree with the too long sentiment.

pennywise
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Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:21 am

Re: Diversity Statement Semi-Final Version

Postby pennywise » Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:00 am

Alright, i reckon my length is too long, what about the statement itself? Any criticisms?

pennywise
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:21 am

Re: Diversity Statement Semi-Final Version

Postby pennywise » Mon Oct 18, 2010 2:43 am

I do appreciate the comments about word length, but could I get something else? Is there anything that is inappropriate in there? Is there anything that should be expanded on? DO you think this is a convincing statement? A very strong one?

Thanks guys.

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lennonist
Posts: 164
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2010 9:38 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Semi-Final Version

Postby lennonist » Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:08 am

Critique:

1) not catchy enough
2) too many irrelevant details
3) the while FOB deal isn't too original
4) you are not an immigrant, so anyone who was born & raised in mainland china would "out-diverse" you
5) i am a foreigner and struggled with multiple identities when i came to the U.S. and I was largely bored while reading
6) it's not a good idea to transcribe your resume into prose

Sorry for being harsh, just my humble opinion.




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