(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
4 posts • Page 1 of 1
- Posts: 653
- Joined: Tue May 25, 2010 3:46 pm
This is waaaaaay too general. You never explain what you mean by "help people." It sounds immature and unfocused. Also, please remove "really" in the last sentence; too informal. This seems to be the flow you describe: "feel bad -> go visit family who have it worse -> realize "helping people" is good -> feel bad -> go visit family who have it worse -> realize "helping people" is good -> realize going to law school is good for "helping people." Sorry to be harsh, but this does not deliver the level of introspection that a personal statement should, nor does it demonstrate a mastery of language or rhetoric.
- Posts: 80
- Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2010 10:27 pm
its alright not harsh at all..yea i pretty much threw that together quickly and just wanted to see where i was in terms of just making sure i was on the right path..i wasnt planning on that being my final copy by any means but i guess i still have plenty of work to do on it lol
Who is online
The online users are hidden on this forum.