PS - Any critcism/aid apreciated

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )

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PS - Any critcism/aid apreciated

Postby kehoema2 » Mon Oct 11, 2010 7:53 pm

I figure a brief background on myself would be useful to any who help. I am a college senior, took the LSAT twice (158 first attempt, just took October), 4.0 UGPA, non-urm, some softs (president/eboard of student organizations, some internships, etc. nothing huge unfortunately). Further I am a middle class kid fortunate enough to have never experienced true hardship. My personal statement is below. I thought this would give me a chance to put in an experience others may not share. As mentioned, any help whatsoever is truly appreciated. Thanks.

As I stared down the arena I could not help but feel restless. Confined to a seat, I incessantly rocked back and forth as I prepared to watch the New Jersey state wrestling finals; the pinnacle of an ending season. As the whistle sounded, my focus converged below, tense and unwavering. Every scramble I felt my legs automatically contort beneath me as if wrestling an unseen opponent. The brief intermission between periods was just sufficient to allow a flicker of thoughts before my focus centered back to the impending action below.

At that time I was a twenty one year old college student. Fortunate enough to have been guided by a series of mentors throughout my life, I now fulfill that role. The described wrestler was not simply my drill partner, but someone I personally coached and mentored. I imparted knowledge acquired through membership on national teams. More importantly, to assist him with his weight loss, I drew upon my knowledge to advise him in order to maintain his health and strength as well as motivating him to undertake additional practice. With this, I increasingly spent mornings and weekends at practice in preparation for his state championship.

There is little as satisfying as the temporary sense of gratitude that washes over you as you see your efforts crystallize into achievements. Further, I believe anything desirable should only be attained through exertion. Self-motivated, I have discovered gratification in extending myself to a limit further than my peers are willing to. For instance, my Constitutional Law professor boasted the highest score ever received in the history of his class was a ninety six. Further, he believed a score of that caliber was unattainable. Motivated by the challenge of a seemingly insurmountable barrier I now hold his highest score at a ninety eight.

The success I have conscientiously cultivated through dedication is not limited to personal accomplishments. As an intern to a judge, I was valued by both the judge and law clerk. After all, I was entrusted to prepare briefs on behalf of the law clerk. Additionally, I independently covered the position for a week while the law clerk was unavailable. Despite this, I privately insisted on believing I was dispensable; thus maintaining a critical evaluation on my performance.

The completion of my internship occurred concurrent with my law clerk’s hiring at the prosecutor’s office. Within days of this, I was offered a subsequent internship. That summer I was handed a file with the request of a completed brief. After a hasty introduction to Westlaw, work began. The task not only required legal research, but entailed distinguishing case law as well. With initial uncertainty, I encountered the frustration that accompanies fruitless searches. Temporarily impeded I was forced to draw upon creativity and flexibility. After reflection, propelled by a shift in perspective, weaknesses in the argument began to appear; thus facilitating progress in dismantling the task in front of me.

While I presented the brief, the prosecutor looked on with discernible surprise. When questioned, she replied that she had not familiarized herself at all with the file; rather, she had confidence I would effectively resolve it. I was struck by this. Throughout my internship I had thought my tasks were tightly supervised and regimented. Now, however, it was evident that my work was accorded evaluation equivalent to that of other prosecutors. Although checked upon submission, it was respected and remained largely unaltered.

The field of law is a frontier that affords new challenges. Although these challenges will sometimes act as a temporary obstruction on progress, with a work ethic forged through industriousness, and polished through years of academic rigor, I am undaunted by these challenges. Furthermore, as I guided the formerly described athlete to winning his first state championship, I look forward to applying the expertise gained in law school to provide others with comparable benefits.

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